Wrong Turn 5: Bloodlines (2012)


REVIEWER RATING: 
4/10


Another year, another shitty unnecessary Wrong Turn sequel--that's pretty much how I feel about the franchise at this point. The first two films were enjoyable, while the three that followed were pretty much a waste of time. Though, I'll admit that the previous flick had its moments. Despite the fact that Declan O'Brien wrote and directed the worst of the films, the studio keeps bringing him back for more. Such is the case with Bloodlines, yet another worthless installment in the needless straight-to-DVD Wrong Turn series.

The story takes place after the events of the previous movie, meaning it's still a prequel and gives an excuse to once again bring back the same old inbred mutants we've grown tired of seeing. We follow a typical group of 20-somethings as they head to the "Mountain Man Festival" at a small West Virginia town for some boozing, drugging, and sexing. Unfortunately for them, they nearly hit a man along the way. While attempting to help the man off the road, he brandishes a knife in an attempt to take out one of the guys, but a police car arrives just in time to take the man into custody.

The mystery man (Doug Bradley) turns out to be a wanted criminal and also the new guardian of the inbred brothers. He warns the sheriff that if he's not set free, his "boys" will come for him and kill everyone in their path. Thanks to a majority of the locals celebrating the festival elsewhere, the town itself is left pretty barren and the perfect opportunity for the brothers to get revenge and break out their new pops.

There are MANY problems with this movie, but the biggest issue would have to be the script itself. Not that I was really expecting anything thought-provoking to come out of a Wrong Turn sequel, but it's definitely bad and on-par with the writing from the much hated part 3. First off, there are no likable characters, so the deaths of these people mean nothing. We're supposed to feel something for the sheriff who is clearly a strong-willed woman with a good head on her shoulders, but several minutes in she turns out to be just as idiotic as the rest of the cast.

For instance, it's established early on that the cannibals are trying to separate the group and pick them off, so the sheriff says its best they stay together in the police station where it's safe. However, it's not long before one of the survivors declares he must venture out and look for his girlfriend and the sheriff agrees, letting a couple of'em go. Naturally they never return, so she decides to send out another survivor to "look for help". He doesn't return either (shocker!), so she eventually comes to the conclusion that she should go out and find help herself, leaving the last remaining survivor in the station alone. Seriously??

What bothers me most about this whole situation is the fact that she called US Marshalls before any of this happened and they stated they would arrive at the station the following morning to pick up Doug Bradley's character. So, she could've just remained in the police station until the morning without having to constantly "go for help" and get everyone killed. That's just one glaring example of the incredibly poorly written script. I honestly think someone could make a drinking game out've each time someone yelled for help in this movie. You'd be passed out drunk in less than half the running time.

Doug Bradley easily outshines everyone in the film and proves to be the only redeeming aspect of the movie and while part 4 offered some pretty decent deaths and gore, the filmmakers here seemed like they simply didn't give a shit and gave us a lot of lackluster kills and mediocre gore. Though there was one decent sequence at a soccer field that was highly enjoyable.

Everything that was wrong with part 3 is replicated here--we're given a lot of dull, uncreative kills, mediocre gore, and a horrendous script with zero likable characters, which I guess is to be expected from the series at this point anyway. If you've enjoyed the last 3 sequels then this will probably be no different for you, but if you're looking for some sort of improvement to come out of the seemingly neverending franchise then you'll be sorely disappointed.
OVERALL: 
Everything that was wrong with part 3 is replicated here--we're given a lot of dull, uncreative kills, mediocre gore, and a horrendous script with zero likable characters, which I guess is to be expected from the series at this point anyway. If you've enjoyed the last 3 sequels then this will probably be no different for you, but if you're looking for some sort of improvement to come out of the seemingly neverending franchise then you'll be sorely disappointed.


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