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Aerobicide (1986)

  Tags: 80's, 80's Slashers, aerobicide, cheesy, David A. Prior

Your rating: None Average: 4 (1 vote)
Reviewer Rating: 
4

aerobicide.jpg
Rating #: 
4/10
Director: 
David A. Prior
Runtime: 
85 minutes
Cast: 
Marcia Karr, David James Campbell, Fritz Matthews, Ted Prior, Teresa Van der Woude, Richard Bravo, Dianne Copeland, Laurel Mock, Lynn Meighan, Teresa Truesdale, Denise Martell, Michael Beck


Before doing mostly cheesy B-action flicks, writer/director David A. Prior dabbled with the horror genre with an easily forgettable 80's slasher called "Aerobicide," which may also be known as "Killer Workout". Although, you wouldn't really guess this was a slasher with all these fist fights our lead gets into. I think this is the only movie where our hero is shown taking out the trash, and then a minute later get in an all-out bare-knuckle fist fight with a co-worker, and then after the fight, go to a strange woman's house to have sex with her. If the movie initially started off that way, and leading to the ride to the woman's house, you'd probably mistake this film as the introduction to a porno. Speaking of our lead, his name is Ted Prior, who’s also the director's brother, whom was also Playgirl's Man of the Month in March of '84, and appeared in many other issues there-after. Not that I would know personally, I just did my research.

Anyway, with a movie called Aerobicide you'd expect maybe a fair amount of aerobics, especially if it's centered on deaths happening in a fitness center. A "fair amount" is an understatement, because we are given shots of various women doing an aerobic workout literally every 15 minutes. Director David Prior even makes you feel like a perv. watching it, because he constantly zooms in on crotch, ass, and cleavage shots of the women. Even as the credits roll, we are treated to another long workout from the ladies we eventually grow to recognize throughout the film.

The movie's "plot" follows a fitness center that's now run by the sister of a girl who died while tanning a couple years before. In an odd coincidence people start dying after a new gym instructor (Ted Prior) enters the scene, and the finger is obviously pointed towards him as being the killer. He decides to do his own detective work by attempting to dig up more information on the various more shady employees especially that of a man who is seemingly jealous of the new guys’ attention from all the ladies. Who could be the killer? The new guy? The shady dude? the managing sister? Gather 'round as we untangle the web of mysteries that surrounds this forgettable crap-fest. I don't know why they just didn't shut down this gym, because I figured after the third dead body the cops would have shut it down or put up a warning sign at least. Even the people kept going for their daily workout routine. Apparently David Prior's genius writing included numerous plot-holes such as this one.

So, considering this is a slasher flick we'd expect at least a lot of decent deaths, but we don't even get that. Instead, our killer likes to use the same weapon through most of the deaths, which happens to be this abnormally large safety pin. It's original, I'll give them that, but also incredibly lame. There's not much in terms of gore, and we don't even have any nudity (that I can remember anyway), which was the norm in 80's cinema. It's clear why many may not have heard of this movie, aside from my review, it's probably better left forgotten.

This is basically half slasher and half cheesy 80's action flick, because we see more fists flying than we do dead bodies. At least the countless close-ups of cleavage helped mend the horrible acting and dialogue, but it just wasn't enough to make the movie bearable. Zero gore, boring deaths, uninteresting characters; don't bother with this.

Posted on July 29, 2009 - 5:50am | FrighT MasteR

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