|Tags: Alone in the Dark, based on game, Christian Slater, Frank C. Turner, Stephen Dorff, Tara Reid, Uwe Boll|
Cast:Christian Slater, Tara Reid, Stephen Dorff, Frank C. Turner
Alone in the Dark is considered by many as one of the worst films ever made. I consider it to be one of the worst theatrical releases I've seen in a long time. Budgeted at an estimated $20-million bucks, it barely managed to rack in $5-million at the box office. I don't know where Uwe gets all his money, but someone has to freeze his account or something, because I don't think this guy is gonna stop making crappy movies. BloodRayne already looks lame to me, with their plastic swords and all. Well anyway, onto the movie -- this flick has problems from the beginning. It tries to be a hardcore action horror flick, but only ends up looking like some Saturday night movie on the SciFi channel. Within the first 15 minutes we're treated to what's supposed to be some high-stake car chase and fight sequence involving Christian's character and some human/demon guy, but the fight choreography is so fake that it looks as though it's a clip taken from a high school film project.
Let's quickly brush over the "story". I'm not sure how similar it is to the game since I never played it, but the plot for the movie basically follows a paranormal investigator named Edward Carnby (Christian Slater), who slowly begins to unravel the mystery behind his past and the recent events that are unfolding before his eyes. Apparently it all boils down to some ancient artifact that'll unleash a gateway to another world full of demons and what-not. Oh yeah, real original. I have to say that any movie that will cast Tara Reid as some brainy scientist is doomed to fail. According to Tara's concept of someone smart, all you need are some glasses; a straight face; and no personality. Oh, and throw in some "big" words in the vocab and you're a brainy scientist! Of course with Tara in the film, there has to be a sex scene that would require her breasts to be exposed.
So how's the gore? Well it does have some gory deaths, but there's not a whole lot of gore otherwise. I have to admit that towards the end I was pretty interested with all the shooting going on, but the fact that there's no real plot behind all the mayhem I quickly began to dislike it again. I can't believe I'm going to say this, but I have to say that I actually like House of the Dead slightly better. I suppose it's because I'm partial to zombie action.
A crappy flick, but with some action, gore, and Tara Reid's tits, it manaaged to save itself from getting a lower rating. See this movie if you're one of Uwe Boll's 5 fans or if you just like wasting money.
|Posted on November 14, 2012 - 6:02pm | FrighT MasteR|