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The Coroner (1999)

  Tags: 90's, coroner, Juan A. Mas, killer, nudity, POS movie

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Juan A. Mas
75 minutes
Jane Longnecker, Dean St. Louis

What the hell is this? Is this a porno or a horror movie? That's what you're going to constantly ask yourself as you watch this film. This movie is mindless; tasteless; and let’s not forgets boring. There's nothing but nudity and a bunch of quick flashes of various scenes which confuses the hell out of you. I think they really tried to make this film somewhat of a thriller.

The beginning of the movie is flooded with naked women dancing around all these men for a good 5 minutes and then it goes to a scene where one of the dancers leaves the bar then gets killed. At least I think she gets killed since they don't really show what happens to her. Or maybe they did and I wasn't paying attention because it was so boring. I knew from the very start of the film that it wasn't going to be good. The acting is some of the worst I've seen and so is the casting of the serial killer a.k.a. the coroner. There's no gore; just a bunch of blood and flashes of blood splattering everywhere. What the hell is that about? Well anyway, there are some torture scenes, but nothing really special.

The ending of the movie really doesn't explain much of what happens next. It's just like there's all this stuff happening to the girl and it seems like she's got nothing else going for her then something happens at the end and that's it. It doesn't explain what happened to all the stuff that was against her. This is another one of those movies where the director spends more money on the cover of the film's box than he does on the actual film. They make the cover look all cool and make it seem like it will be a good movie to watch, but when you actually watch it you ask where the hell all the money went? I've fallen pray to that tactic many times before and I hate it.

Here's a word of advice for all you horror fans out there... if you see a movie in a video store and you've never heard of it before and the cover of the box looks somewhat cool and when you read the plot in the back, it sounds a little cool; DONT RENT IT ! Because most likely the film will suck badly. Maybe in some occasions the film will be good, but most of the time it will suck. Just like this one did.

Posted on July 6, 2009 - 5:21am | FrighT MasteR