Cast:Danielle Panabaker, Matt Bush, Chris Zylka, David Koechner, Meagan Tandy, Paul James Jordan, Jean-Luc Bilodeau, Hector Jimenez, Adrian Martinez, Clu Gulager, Gary Busey, Katrina Bowden, Ving Rhames, Paul Scheer, Christopher Lloyd, David Hasselhoff
When the first Piranha 3D came out it was meant to be fun, gory, gratuitous and obscene and it worked in all aspects. This was likely thanks to director Alexandre Aja (High Tension, The Hills Have Eyes), who knows how to pile on the gore (when needed) and not go over the top to the point of being too inane and tedious, but most importantly it was all done in good fun.
Then comes Piranha 3DD, where the studio decides to hire the team behind the Feast films in hopes of capturing some of that silly and gory over-the-top madness that was witnessed in its predecessor. Unfortunately, these guys obviously had no idea where to take the film and opted to replace all the gore that we've come to expect from a flick like this and just threw in a lot of unfunny jokes, idiotic characters and incredibly absurd sequences. It ultimately failed in all fronts that made the first so fun.
So the "story" this time 'round follows Danielle Panabaker's character as a marine biologist named Maddy, who returns to her hometown to discover that her stepfather (David Koechner) has turned the old family waterpark into some kind of sleazy adult-themed waterpark called "Big Wet". Unbeknownst to the stepfather, the place is located upstream from the infamous Lake Victoria, where the last Piranha outbreak occurred. The little sharp-teethed buggers naturally find their way into the park's water supply and it's not long before they start tearing away at the guests.
Not that any of this is supposed to be taken seriously, but the film is littered with plot-holes, some of which is so absurd it makes you wonder if writers Patrick Melton and Marcus Dunstan even gave a shit. One of the main issues I had with this flick was how even after they discovered that the Piranha are back, not once did they even bother to notify the proper authorities. Seriously guys? Even after what happened in Lake Victoria you don't think to tell anyone who might be able to do something to prevent another major incident like that?
Then there's the gore or lack thereof -- sure there are some pretty bloody scenes, but much of the gore is saved for the end and even that was nowhere near what we saw in the first movie. It's pretty clear to me that they opted to replace much of the gore and good deaths with nudity and unfunny crude humor. What's sad is even the a lot of the humor comes off as more childish than funny, and in true Feast-fashion, the guys decide to throw in a couple scenes just for mere shock value and nothing else.
David Hasselhoff's cameo was probably one of the only decent additions to the sequel, though he extended his welcome once the parody of himself wore off after a few minutes. And as expected, the cameos from the returning stars Paul Scheer, Christopher Lloyd, Ving Rhames are all pretty much wasted. On the plus side of things, (with the exception of the credits and bloopers at the end) the movie is only about 70-monutes. There's also a decent amount of nudity, but don't expect to see any actual "double D's" until towards the end.
If you're expecting to see a film that's anything like its predecessor then you're better off rewatching the first, because you won't find it here. While Piranha 3D was a fun and gory ride, this sequel opted to remove all the gore and gruesome deaths (and everything else that made the first work), in favor of more nudity, crude, unfunny humor, and several idiotic sequences. Add some bad acting, a couple shock-value scenes and a script so littered with plot-holes that it's obvious the writers didn't give a shit, and you've got Piranha 3DD.
|Posted on June 16, 2012 - 8:33pm | FrighT MasteR|