|Tags: Elizabeth Perry, Gulshan Grover, Jean Carol, Laura Putney, Paul Wynne, POS movie, Robert Merrill, scorpions, Shirly Brener, Tail Sting, Tara Price|
Cast:Laura Putney, Robert Merrill, Shirly Brener, Gulshan Grover, Tara Price, Jean Carol, Elizabeth Perry
How a movie like this ever got the funding and the go-ahead is beyond me, but somehow it did. Not only is the script horrible, but so is the directing. I may not have a lot of experience behind the camera, but I know even an amateur like myself can bust out something better than this dribble. The flick is so bad it's humorous, which is the only thing that kept me watching. Let’s go over what the writers call a "story"...
A group of genetically altered scorpions are smuggled on board a commercial aircraft for one reason or another, and a man attempts to steal the contained scorpions by placing them in a coffin(?) that was clearly made out of cardboard. Amidst this the man is busted in the act by one of the geneticists on board; a fight ensues and the man is accidentally killed. At one point the plane tips to the side to turn, which causes the cardboard coffin to fall breaking the pickle jars that contained the tiny scorpions. Next thing you know it, they grow to an enormous size and start "stinging" the passengers one by one. Somehow they are able to crawl their big asses through the air ducts (?) in the plane and decide to sting each and every passenger. Now it's up to the remaining crew and the small group of passengers to fend against the giant buggers.
This movie had a lot of hilarious scenes. Some of my favorites involved the pilot dodging the scorpions "claws" by swerving left and right, while batting them away with a large flashlight. This is the type of film that would be shown in a film class as an example for the students on what NOT to do in a movie. There's plot-hole after plot-hole in this baby, and let's not forget to mention the silly scene involving the aircraft's door opening in mid-air and magically close itself, but not before a couple people fly out, of course. I wish movies like this would stop being made, but it's a fact that now-a-days anyone can put out a film. So anyway, why'd I give it a 3-rating and not a flat-out 1? Well simply because its cheesiness and horrible directing made it hilarious to watch. I also had fun playing the 'spot the boom-mic' game.
A perfect example of a group of 20-somethings putting their money together, vomiting a script, and getting a lame director to create a true disasterpiece such as this. Avooooooooiiiiiiidddddddddd!!
|Posted on October 13, 2011 - 6:32pm | FrighT MasteR|