Teeth (2007)

July 20, 2010 - 2:11am | FrighT MasteR
  Tags: comedic, drama, Hale Applema, indie, Jess Weixler, John Hensley, Josh Pais, Mitchell Lichtenstein, Teeth

Your rating: None Average: 6 (4 votes)
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Mitchell Lichtenstein
Jess Weixler, John Hensley, Josh Pais, Hale Appleman

There has pretty much been a killer anything and everything within the horror genre, from sand to refrigerators, you name it, I'm sure there is probably some crazy unknown movie out there that has already done it. On that note, there hasn't been many in the realm of killer vaginas. Aside from this, there are a couple other forgettable films that come to mind. There's really only two ways you can normally go about a movie like this -- make it a porno or just make it have excessive nudity, gore, and lots of cheesy comedy. Somehow, first-time writer/director Mitchell Lichtenstein figured a way to avoid both, and still managed to make it a good watch.

The film stars Jess Weixler as a girl named "Dawn," who is an active participant and lead of a local chastity group, promoting abstinence until marriage. On the outside Dawn seems the perfect role model and a girl who knows exactly what she wants, but inside, she has a constant battle with her own sexual desires, and fearing that her killer vag will make short work of the next guy that tries to feel her up. Yes, Dawn has something known as "vagina dentata," which literally means toothed vagina, and it's apparently awakened when she feels threatened. So, rapists beware!

Regardless of how ridiculous it sounds, many cultures do actually have myths about toothed vaginas, obviously to scare younger people into not having sex, at least not with strange people or until marriage. Luckily, the film doesn't actually show the vagina (I'm sure it would have looked ridiculously cheesy), but there are a lot of bitten-off penises, especially in the second half, so naturally the movie is somewhat gory. The first half of the flick is pretty much all about Dawn coping with her condition, while the second focuses on what happens when guys around her happen to cross the line.

Despite its theme, director Mitchell Lichtenstein chose to approach things more realistically, meaning we wouldn't get a lot of excessive nudity or blood, like you'd expect from a movie like this. Everything is pretty subtle and shown at a slow pace, which would probably cause a lot of viewers not to like the flick. I personally enjoyed it, and really liked the Dawn character. It isn't until towards the end that she really gets a grip of her situation and decides to use it to her advantage. It would have been nice to see her reach that point earlier in the movie, but I suppose that might caused the film's pacing to change and maybe would have cheesed things up.

This was an interesting film that might not appeal to everyone due to its different approach to an uncommon and seemingly ridiculous theme. I personally liked the movie and the lead character "Dawn" and how she dealt with her condition. Not as much gore or comedy as one would expect from a movie like this since it sort of leans towards a more realistic view on the subject, but I personally felt it made the film all-the-more interesting. Worth a rent, but I'd recommend going in with low expectations.

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FrighT MasteR's picture
FrighT MasteR is an avid horror fan / monster hunter extraordinaire, who created and has been running UHM since its inception, way back in 1999.




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