Wrathborne
05-27-2008, 04:07 AM
Ok I will NOT be forgiving with this review. The original series was maverick and deserved a 4th chapter to complement their greatness.
I didnt want this film to suck at all. I wanted it to be on par with the original, or at the very least feel like the originals and provide an entertaining story..it didn't.
PLOT
Indy is dragged into UFO's a Confused commie soldiers in this half ass installment that is scifi channel quality writing.
The plot itself? So-so. the line in the first film 'Hitlers after religious artifacts' is now changed to 'Stalin is after religious artifacts' and we have our clumsy adventure begin.
While Indy has never needed a great plot to get him going, this is just rehash.
5/10
SCRIPT
Almost godfucking awful, is this supposed to be a comedy? because character interaction and intelligence has been replaced by one liners as well as half assed cartoon dialog.
Concepts are introduced and abandoned faster than my faith in Speilberg. Spalko is supposed to be into psychic research and have some abilities herself right? Nope, just for scene one, no more of that is needed. The audience couldn't be interested in her as a character, surely she couldn't have had any development like Rene Belloq from the first film. Bull fucking shit.
This isnt a movie script, its a fucking Saturday morning cartoon with big budget. Worst of all, it doesnt even feel like an Indiana jones film. Its just bad fan fiction, David Koepp is officially on the level of Paul W.S Anderson as a screenwriter. That fucking bad.
Seriously, anyone who comes up with the idea of Indiana Jones surviving an atomic bomb blast at Ground zero is dumber than a pile of shit that thinks its a flower.
3/10
ACTING
Only thing decent in this film are the actors, not that they get to perform much with this. The legendary Harrison Ford's skills as an actor haven't aged even though he as, but in this film he doesnt get to act much. Indy really doesn't have anything to him as a character here. Ford manages to breath some life into this shallow imitation that Koepp and Lucas wrote, but not much.
Shia Lebouf isn't bad, but Mutt Williams falls into the same category, and yeah its obvious Mutt is Joneses son. No surprise when its revealed, but the interaction between these two is only fun because of the fact Ford and LeBouf.
Cate Blanchette is wasted here, she has a goof performance, but it shifts to mediocre fast, Spalko has nothing to do in this film but brood, give an exposition and a brief sword fight.
The remaining actors do what they can with their own half assed characters and add a smidge of charm, but thats all they can manage with this film.
7/10
MUSIC
John WIlliams..who's created many epic themes for this series...creates decent elevator music in this one. yes, its that bland. It feel so distant and empty.
4/10
SPECIAL EFFECTS
..for a movie that had a 185 million dollar budget it really had bad effects, I know they didnt want perfect effects so the look would match the old films...but for christsake, it looks like film student work half the time.
5/10
CINEMATOGRAPHY
The look of the film...fails. The dark mysterious atmosphere, look and tone of the originals is gone in this bright sunny day at the park film. There are only 2 scenes of dark foreboding atmosphere, everything else is..bright happy blandness.
3/10
PACING
SLOW...BORING...CRAP...AT no time is there an even pace in this movie...its like car stuck in park.
4/10
DIRECTION
Steven Speilberg..one of the greatest directors ever, who's created masterpieces like 'saving private Ryan', 'Schindlers list', and 'Jaws'...'Boll's' this movie. He in no way matches his previous Jones trilogy talent and ingenuity, and instead gives a direct to dvd product thats noth worth a rental.
3/10
FUNFACTOR
Its mildly entertaining, but you never feel anyone is in danger, there is no real drama, it tries to be a PG light comedy(no violence of the previous trilogy is present in any way) and is the biggest disappointment in cinema I've seen in along time.
5/10
OVERALL
39/90= Big fat fucking 'F'.
Lucas failed as a filmaker back in 1998 with episode one, Looks like Hes taking Spielberg with him. I don't think I need to watch anymore of Speilbergs work as a director, hes said all he has to say as a director. bastard needs to retire, hes lost his ability to make magic.
This is 'Howard the duck' 2.0 people...pretend this film doesn't exist, it never should have in the first place.
I didnt want this film to suck at all. I wanted it to be on par with the original, or at the very least feel like the originals and provide an entertaining story..it didn't.
PLOT
Indy is dragged into UFO's a Confused commie soldiers in this half ass installment that is scifi channel quality writing.
The plot itself? So-so. the line in the first film 'Hitlers after religious artifacts' is now changed to 'Stalin is after religious artifacts' and we have our clumsy adventure begin.
While Indy has never needed a great plot to get him going, this is just rehash.
5/10
SCRIPT
Almost godfucking awful, is this supposed to be a comedy? because character interaction and intelligence has been replaced by one liners as well as half assed cartoon dialog.
Concepts are introduced and abandoned faster than my faith in Speilberg. Spalko is supposed to be into psychic research and have some abilities herself right? Nope, just for scene one, no more of that is needed. The audience couldn't be interested in her as a character, surely she couldn't have had any development like Rene Belloq from the first film. Bull fucking shit.
This isnt a movie script, its a fucking Saturday morning cartoon with big budget. Worst of all, it doesnt even feel like an Indiana jones film. Its just bad fan fiction, David Koepp is officially on the level of Paul W.S Anderson as a screenwriter. That fucking bad.
Seriously, anyone who comes up with the idea of Indiana Jones surviving an atomic bomb blast at Ground zero is dumber than a pile of shit that thinks its a flower.
3/10
ACTING
Only thing decent in this film are the actors, not that they get to perform much with this. The legendary Harrison Ford's skills as an actor haven't aged even though he as, but in this film he doesnt get to act much. Indy really doesn't have anything to him as a character here. Ford manages to breath some life into this shallow imitation that Koepp and Lucas wrote, but not much.
Shia Lebouf isn't bad, but Mutt Williams falls into the same category, and yeah its obvious Mutt is Joneses son. No surprise when its revealed, but the interaction between these two is only fun because of the fact Ford and LeBouf.
Cate Blanchette is wasted here, she has a goof performance, but it shifts to mediocre fast, Spalko has nothing to do in this film but brood, give an exposition and a brief sword fight.
The remaining actors do what they can with their own half assed characters and add a smidge of charm, but thats all they can manage with this film.
7/10
MUSIC
John WIlliams..who's created many epic themes for this series...creates decent elevator music in this one. yes, its that bland. It feel so distant and empty.
4/10
SPECIAL EFFECTS
..for a movie that had a 185 million dollar budget it really had bad effects, I know they didnt want perfect effects so the look would match the old films...but for christsake, it looks like film student work half the time.
5/10
CINEMATOGRAPHY
The look of the film...fails. The dark mysterious atmosphere, look and tone of the originals is gone in this bright sunny day at the park film. There are only 2 scenes of dark foreboding atmosphere, everything else is..bright happy blandness.
3/10
PACING
SLOW...BORING...CRAP...AT no time is there an even pace in this movie...its like car stuck in park.
4/10
DIRECTION
Steven Speilberg..one of the greatest directors ever, who's created masterpieces like 'saving private Ryan', 'Schindlers list', and 'Jaws'...'Boll's' this movie. He in no way matches his previous Jones trilogy talent and ingenuity, and instead gives a direct to dvd product thats noth worth a rental.
3/10
FUNFACTOR
Its mildly entertaining, but you never feel anyone is in danger, there is no real drama, it tries to be a PG light comedy(no violence of the previous trilogy is present in any way) and is the biggest disappointment in cinema I've seen in along time.
5/10
OVERALL
39/90= Big fat fucking 'F'.
Lucas failed as a filmaker back in 1998 with episode one, Looks like Hes taking Spielberg with him. I don't think I need to watch anymore of Speilbergs work as a director, hes said all he has to say as a director. bastard needs to retire, hes lost his ability to make magic.
This is 'Howard the duck' 2.0 people...pretend this film doesn't exist, it never should have in the first place.