Day of the Dead (2008 Remake) - Review

[Bronner]

Day of the Dead (2008 Remake) Review...

Movies don't come much worse than this. This movie, is so bad,
that I don't even want to watch it again. George Romero's classic
"Day of the Dead," from 1985 was awesome, despite its flaws, but
this remake was the perfect chance to use Romero's original
script for "Day," but what do they do? They hire the Dudelson
(not kidding that is their name) Bros, two former porno directors
who brought us "Contagium," a movie I bought at Blockbuster for
two bucks and sold on ebay for ninety-nine cents-- that's just
how fucking bad it is. I actually didn't even buy the new "Day,"
I watched a pirate copy on an underground website that hosts
movies that haven't come out yet. I did this for two reasons,
one, there's no chance in Hell I'm going to give the Dudelson
Bros money, and two, I knew it'd be bad, so what would be the
point in plunking down my hard earned cash to watch this shit?
Okay, now onto the review. The movie starts off with, oh, this is
a surprise, some kids out in a cabin or something in the middle
of the woods making out. THE MIDDLE OF THE FUCKING WOODS, HOW
MANY FUCKING MOVIES CAN YOU MAKE THAT TAKE PLACE IN THE MIDDLE OF
THE FUCKING WOODS?! But I digress, so the kids are making out,
then one of them gets a nosebleed and basically turns into a
zombie and kills the others, I think. It was just so horribly
made that I can't remember all the details and there's no chance
in fuck that I'm ever watching it again. So then we go and meet
all the soldiers, Captain Rhodes, who is inexplicably and in-
excusably a "good guy" in this movie (for those of you who have
not seen the original, Rhodes was a BAD MAN), Salazar and Sarah--
who wasn't even a soldier in the original movie. So, the soldiers
have basically put up a roadblock on street in town hoping it
will keep the zombies in. What they don't know is that the VIRUS
is AIRBORNE! Oh, here's another horribly cliche trick, an airborne
zombie-virus, why can't it just spread through the bites, like in
a GOOD ZOMBIE MOVIE? I digress, again. So anyway now we got all
sorts of sick people in the hospital, all of them sick from
nosebleeds. Here's where we meet Doc Logan, who is inexplicably
and in-excusably a "bad guy" in this 'retelling' of the classic.
Doctor Logan and Sarah and Nick Cannon all try to escape the
zombie-infested hospital, oh, which reminds me, the zombies in
this movie not only run, but they climb on walls, shoot guns and
I think one of them drives at one point, but anyway, Logan some-
how manages to get out of there and he drives off. Sarah, Nick
Cannon and a new character 'Bud,' who I'm assuming they meant to
call "BUB," get out, but uh-oh, Bud's been bitten! Bud turns into
a zombie but he doesn't attack Sarah and Nick Cannon because he
was a vegetarian in life. Oh, okay, that makes sense, a person
infected with the fatal zombie-virus, which gives someone an
insatiable craving for human flesh (hence the tagline, 'the need
to feed') decides not to eat human flesh because he remembers
that he was a vegetarian in life. Yeah, wait, what?! No, it makes
no sense whatsoever. Now we got running, driving vegetarian
zombies all over the place! No! I want my zombies to shamble
about mindlessly, eating people with no remorse and inhabit
shopping malls the way they were meant to. So now somehow Sarah,
Nick Cannon and Zombie-Bud are out in the woods where they come
across the cabin or whatever the fuck it was that those kids were
making out in at the beginning of the movie, and it's from here
that they find their way into an underground bunker, military
high-tech facility thing. I think it's supposed to be a reference
to the ENTIRE SETTING OF THE 1985 CLASSIC, but I don't know,
because this whole movie is so fucked up that it's practically
illegible, even for a movie-whore like myself. So they're in the
bunker and guess who's there, oh, it's Logan again! And it turns
out Logan created the virus that makes people into zombies, or at
least, his friend did, who they keep saying is like, the uber-
zombie or something. So now Logan teams up with Sarah, Bud and
Nick Cannon, Bud somehow gets separated from the group (he's a
mindless walking corpse, I wonder how that happened) and they
decide their going to bomb the bunker back to the fires from
whence it came. So, they plant bombs, I think, I don't remember
if the bombs were already there or not, it wouldn't surprise me
because the movie was written more poorly than a Sci-Fi Channel
Original movie. They plant the bombs, super-zombie comes out,
kills Logan, then tears off Bub's head and crushes him. Sarah
goes into an apparently "bomb-proof" room and sets off the bomb.
The last thing we see is Sarah, Nick Cannon and some third person
who wasn't really important to the plot driving away into the
mountains, but then, one last shock scare, as a zombie pops up
and screams. I was so mad when this movie was over. Between the
hiring of the Dudelson Bros and the not using Romero's awesome
first-draft script, I'm dumbfounded as to how this movie even got
made. But, I suppose these things happen, and you can't help
invalids like the Dudelsons, or the Sci-Fi Channel. All this, and
Uwe Boll gets to keep on making movies. Oh, what a world.

~ Bronner

[ASoron0424]

It wouldn't have been wise or even remotely beneficial to use Romero's script again. If someone is remaking a horror movie, they're probably not doing it out of a 100% tribute to the person who birthed the whole concept of the movie, they're doing it to offer what they think will be a better take on a movie they love, and sometimes it works, but mostly it doesn't. But look at the best remakes of recent years: TCM, Dawn of the Dead, The Hills Have Eyes, and, to a much lesser extent but still respectable, Halloween. None of them are as good as their predecessors, but they impact today's audiences as closely as the originals impacted the audiences of their own time. In part, what these movies are doing are sustaining the good name of the movies they love by keeping them scary. There really aren't many things in Romero's Day that could've been drastically improved with today's technology, so why fix what isn't broken? Instead, just change it up a little bit. Look at how fans of the original Funny Games regard the American version, they hate it because it's a word-for-word rendition of the original, and made only 11 years apart.
Rather than see it as a disgrace to Romero's original, look at it as an absolutely shitty movie that happens to have the same name. This is a big problem with people trashing remakes, they go in with a blatant predisposition to hate it because they'll never allow themselves to say So-n-So is better than Romero or Craven or Carpenter or whomever. If you're sitting in front of the screen with your arms crossed, demanding a good impression rather than awaiting entertainment, you're gonna be disappointed every time.

[Bronner]

I guess so... but they could have just not remade the movie.

[ASoron0424]

But what's the harm in having done so? All it does is add more appreciation to Romero's and will in the end have lost some money for some very over-ambitious, talentless, careless filmmakers.

[Bronner]

But what's the harm in having done so? All it does is add more appreciation to Romero's and will in the end have lost some money for some very over-ambitious, talentless, careless filmmakers.

This is true, I guess all I'm really trying to say is, some stones are better left unturned.

[FrighT MasteR]

Just a head's up -- you should consider spacing out your paragraphs to make it easier on the eyes :nod:

[Bronner]

Just a head's up -- you should consider spacing out your paragraphs to make it easier on the eyes :nod:

Oh fuck, I didn't even think of that! Thanks man the next review will be much easier to read. :bigthumbup:

[steelba]

Who's puppet are you :eyes:

[Bronner]

Who's puppet are you :eyes:

Uh, Gonzo I guess, he's the funniest Muppet.

[K.I.N.G]

:cheerlead

[steelba]

:shootemup: Die Puppet

[Nightmares]

:lol:

[réÐþÁ†µ]

Mena Suvari and Rhames musta been pretty desperate to take this project.

[Cannibal]

This seems a lot more like a detailed synopsis than an actual review. :ahheh:

[K.I.N.G]

The review is probably more entertaining than the movie, good job.

"Now we got running, driving vegetarian zombies all over the place!" :lol:

[K.I.N.G]

But look at the best remakes of recent years: TCM, Dawn of the Dead, The Hills Have Eyes, and, to a much lesser extent but still respectable, Halloween. None of them are as good as their predecessors.

The Hills Have Eyes remake killed the original IMO.

[ASoron0424]

The Hills Have Eyes remake killed the original IMO.

That's what I suspected after I first saw the remake and didn't like it that much, but then I saw Craven's original to see what went wrong and I realized that the remake was a tremendous improvement.
But I'm not like attacking your opinion, King, I know a lot of people agree with you, probably more than there are people who would agree with me, but I would say Craven's "Hills" ranks up in probably the top ten or fifteen most overrated horror movies.

[Bronner]

God, I thought the ORIGINAL "Hills Have Eyes" gargled balls.

...it didn't even have an ending!

[xxsic4slipknotxx]

I'm still not interested in watching this :thumbsdown:

[K.I.N.G]

I seen this DVD at a shop today actually, they were selling it for $33.00 :lol: That stock aint movin.

[smokey]

I will gladly be avoiding this movie.

[koolmike]

Watched the 1st 15 minutes over a friend's house. Piece o' crap.

[dead breed]

:lol: $33 ....