Jokes

[LgOr]

There's a couple. All they do is have sex. They've tried every position in the book and after a while they get bored. One day the wife is going to work and she tells her husband to come up with a new position while shes gone. So she comes home and asks "So did you come up with a new position?" and he says "Yeah I wanna fuck your ear". She says "What? Your crazy. Ill go deaf" And he says "Well you havent gone mute yet"

[da Gay]

your so Mexican you were born pregnant

[woodenheart]

What is the main reason Santa is so jolly?


He knows where all the bad girls live.

[woodenheart]

How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?


One....men will screw anything.

[3/6]

i know alot of offensive jokes..dont really wanna say em..prolly get banned..

[woodenheart]

i know alot of offensive jokes..dont really wanna say em..prolly get banned..


aTo view links or images in this forum your post count must be 5 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. on....geez

[Lemmywinks]

How many emo kids does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None they would rather sit in the dark and cry.

[K.I.N.G]

i know alot of offensive jokes..dont really wanna say em..prolly get banned..

It'll only be a temporary ban :D

[LgOr]

There were two gay guys in a car and there were two biker guys behind them. The front car brakes and the bikers hit em from behind. The gay driver tells the other guy "Oh man. Get off and tell those guys were gonna sue sue sue." So the gay guy gets out and goes to the other car. He knocks on the window and the biker rolls it down. The gay guy says "Hey my friend says were gonna sue sue sue." The biker says "Well tell your friend he can suck my dick." So the gay guy goes back and the driver asks "What did he say?" and the guy says "I think they wanna settle out of court"

[da Gay]

There were two gay guys in a car and there were two biker guys behind them. The front car brakes and the bikers hit em from behind. The gay driver tells the other guy "Oh man. Get off and tell those guys were gonna sue sue sue." So the gay guy gets out and goes to the other car. He knocks on the window and the biker rolls it down. The gay guy says "Hey my friend says were gonna sue sue sue." The biker says "Well tell your friend he can suck my dick." So the gay guy goes back and the driver asks "What did he say?" and the guy says "I think they wanna settle out of court"

lmaooooo

[Lemmywinks]

There were two gay guys in a car and there were two biker guys behind them. The front car brakes and the bikers hit em from behind. The gay driver tells the other guy "Oh man. Get off and tell those guys were gonna sue sue sue." So the gay guy gets out and goes to the other car. He knocks on the window and the biker rolls it down. The gay guy says "Hey my friend says were gonna sue sue sue." The biker says "Well tell your friend he can suck my dick." So the gay guy goes back and the driver asks "What did he say?" and the guy says "I think they wanna settle out of court"

Brilliant.:bigthumbup:

[Dr. Awesome]

Here's an old one...at least to me.

A drunk guy is in a bar and he looks at the bartender and says, "I'll bet you 500 bucks that I can stand on this bar and piss in that cup at the end of the bar."

The bartender thinks about and believing it to be impossible takes the bet.

The drunk guy stands up on the bar unzipps his pants and starts pissing.... all over the bar and the bartender.

When he finishes the bartender is laughing and the drunk guy says, "what are you laughing for?"

The bartender says, "You just lost 500 bucks. You didn't get a single drop into the cup."

The drunk guy looks at the bartender and says, "That's ok I bet that guy over in the corner 1,000 dollars that I could piss all over you and your bar and you'd laugh about it."

[Joker]

Do not read if easily offended.



Four gay guys decide to go on a camping trip.
While they are out camping the one guy suddenly dies,so the other three are left sitting around wondering what to do.
When one guy speaks up and says "maybe we should take him back to town"
The other two reply with a "naw thats to far"
Then the next guy speaks up and says "I got it,we'll bury him right here"
The other two reply with a "naw thats too much work"
Then the third guy says "I've got it! lets chop him up,cook him and eat him!"
The other two look at him in digust and say "Why the hell would you want to do that?"
To which the guy replies "I just wanna feel him coming out of my ass one last time"

[Gilly]

What's brown and sticky? (Highlight for answer)... Anal rape

You know when your girlfriend is too young for you when you have to make airplane noises to get her to let you stick your cock in her mouth.

[Lemmywinks]

Do not read if easily offended.



Four gay guys decide to go on a camping trip.
While they are out camping the one guy suddenly dies,so the other three are left sitting around wondering what to do.
When one guy speaks up and says "maybe we should take him back to town"
The other two reply with a "naw thats to far"
Then the next guy speaks up and says "I got it,we'll bury him right here"
The other two reply with a "naw thats too much work"
Then the third guy says "I've got it! lets chop him up,cook him and eat him!"
The other two look at him in digust and say "Why the hell would you want to do that?"
To which the guy replies "I just wanna feel him coming out of my ass one last time"

That was actually pretty funny.
Anywho from the Bob Saget Roast:The Olsen twins walk into a bar and ask the bartender to make them an "ass hurt".The bartender asks"how do you make an ass hurt"? The Olsen twins say Bob Saget brings you a cup of chocalate milk and you wake up 3 hours later lying on your stomach.--as told by Gilbert Godfry,Godrie freaking whatever.

[koolmike]

What do you call a skeleton in a Polish guy's closet?





The winner at hide and seek.

[koolmike]

How mant psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?



1, but the light bulb really has to want to change.

[Gatsu18]

What's the difference between a dead baby and a rock?





You can't fuck a rock.

[K.I.N.G]

:lol:

[koolmike]

That's sick.

[Gatsu18]

What's the difference between a porsche and a pile of dead babies?





I don't have a porsche in my garage

[Gatsu18]

How many babies does it take to paint a house?






Depends on how hard you throw them

[SonOfSavini]

Why is a woman's asshole and snatch so close together?
-So when she gets drunk you can carry her home like a six pack.

One day President Bush was in the Oval Office with VP Cheney when he gets a phone call from a front line commander in Iraq. He says, "My President, I regret to inform you that we have lost three Brazilian soldiers who were touring with our unit this week." Bush lays down the phone and silently lowers his head and begins to weep. Cheney leans over and asks, "George...whats wrong?" Bush looks up with tears in his eyes and says, "How many are in a Brazillion?"

[LgOr]

:spit:

[Searcher]

4 people are on a plane and the plane is about to crash into a mountain. Unfortunately there are only 3 parachutes. The people on the plance are: Micheal Jordan, The Pope, Bush, and 9-year old.
They cant deside which 3 people will get parachutes.
Micheal Jordan takes a parachute and yells "I’m too famous to die!"
*Jumps off the plane*
Bush yells out "I’m the president of the USA! I can’t die!"
*Jumps off plane*
Its down to The Pope and the 9-year old boy. Only one parachute left.
The Pope says "It’s ok I’ve lived my years, I’ll let the kid go."
Then the kid says "It’s ok we can both go. That stupid american guy that looks like a monkey took my backpack."

[Excesscabbage]

What do people from the west coast say?
WESTSIDE!

What do homeless people say?
OUTSIDE!

What do you do if you see an epileptic having a seizure in a bathtub?
Throw your laundry in quick!

What kind of meat does the pope like to eat?
Nun.

Why didn't the black guy want to wear a suit to the sperm bank?
Cause he didn't want to look impo'tent.

[3/6]

fuck it heres my joke
im sorry if i offend anyone
hopefully i wont get banned..

how do u fit

nevermind..

[K.I.N.G]

:lol: good joke..