IKickAssForTheLord
09-26-2008, 03:44 AM
Zombie Strippers
Date: 2008
Director: Jay Lee
Okay, to start off first just gotta say there will be Spoilers in this review. So if you want to watch this movie and don't wanna know what it is 'bout and some scenes don't read it, but if u don't give a fuck read ahead :D And another thing, its fuckin' late and I know its full of grammar mistakes and shit, but I'm a fan reviewer so I can do it :D
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Now to start off, I just remember hearin' 'bout this movie and just had to check this out. I've already seen it once, and was goin' to do a review then, but just totally forgot 'bout it. This is a kinda movie you just wanna chill out and drink some beers, Like I did :D Also you don't want to take this movie seriously, if you do... ur gonna be like WTF. But if you do that anyways why you watchin' Zombie Strippers?!
Okay, starts off with a totally orginal idea, the zombies are suppose to be for the soldiers so dead people could fight the battles (since the whole world is in war cuz of bush)! We have never heard anythin' like that, crazy! But you know what, they had to test it out so who better than the homeless and middle class people right? Sounds good to me! But I guess they had a lil' problem in the testin' area and had to call in these badass soldiers (but really should just keep their mouth close). Now as these soldiers are takin' out the left over zombies some of them are gettin' lazy on the killin', but thats only cuz they can supposely be killed by this magenic laser gun this doc has built. But we all know thats bullshit, so when they thought they zombies were dead one of the soldier gets bit and let the this wonderful story begin. One of the best/funny scenes in this movie is how this soldier escapes from the other soldiers when he realize no survivers if biten. He just escapes in front of all of their faces, like just walks out of the room and after they do a head count they ask where he went. Shit just cracks me up. So hey, if u were gonna be a zombie where would the 1st place u be? Fuck yea, a strip club!
So now we are off to the strip club, let me tell you what we have instore. Jenna Jameson's character is like the head stripper, no stripper is on her level by the way she acts. You get to see her naked as a human and as a zombie which isn't that bad if you never seen her in a porno :lookarnd:. So Jenna gets bit infront of everybody at the strip club, by the dead soldier. Some how the crowd isn't involved in any of this, they don't react to her dyin' infront of them. The Boss which is Robert England, I just call him "The Boss" and his workers are freakin' out that his best stripper is dead, Or is she? I'm just kiddin' she's not dead DUH! She becomes some kinda super stripper zombie, which that can talk and think and do just 'bout anythin', also She can dance better. She gives this long strip scene as she is a zombie and at the end she picks a guy to give a "Lap Dance". Now we start to get to the killin', first one is painful for all guys Dick Eaten Off... Can't be fun. After, the other strippers seein' her makin' all that money and the crowd lovin' her zombie ass...The strippers slowly 1 by 1 wanna be zombies. Which is pretty fuckin' stupid but oh well, cuz if they are zomebies they get naked. The 2nd "Lap Dance" death I thought was really good, kinda reminded me of "Hatchet", but maybe even better.
Oh, I almost forgot... when these zombie strippers kill their dead become zombies and "The Boss" just decides oh we can just put them in the basement and nobody will know. I guess that solves that problem. Nah, some stupid ass stripper lets them out because she wanted to be a zombie. Now we got zombies running around attacking the crowd while we got zombie chicks stripping, its not too bad to look at lil' bit of gore and titties. But now we have the Battle between 2 jealous strippers in which Jenna Jameson can shoot out ping pong balls and pool balls out of her vagina, tryin' to hit another zombie stripper. While this is all goin' on the survivers are in "The Bosses" room, grabin' all the weapons since of course "The Boss" is apart of the NRA. Gotta love how convient it is. Lets just say they don't get to far with those. You know the rule, you gotta seprate.
Since, this is gettin' a lil' long let me sum up this endin' for you real quick... Not that I could make it any longer since the endin' was so simple. Remember 'bout those soldiers I was talkin' 'bout, Yea they are here to save the say. They come in guns blastin', we get to see some really bad cgi with heads exploding. And they pretty much save the day. Well kinda of, You get to hear how the story of the virus is let out and what happens next, but I'll let you find that out. The End.
Overall - First of all the story sucks, but I wasn't lookin' for a good story. There is plenty of gore (maybe not the best but some is good) and a lot of naked chicks runnin' around. It was pretty easy to follow and you don't have to pay attention to most of it to understand it. So I would rate this 7/10 just cuz I was in the mood for some gore and no story, and just happen to have a lot of naked girls :D
Date: 2008
Director: Jay Lee
Okay, to start off first just gotta say there will be Spoilers in this review. So if you want to watch this movie and don't wanna know what it is 'bout and some scenes don't read it, but if u don't give a fuck read ahead :D And another thing, its fuckin' late and I know its full of grammar mistakes and shit, but I'm a fan reviewer so I can do it :D
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Now to start off, I just remember hearin' 'bout this movie and just had to check this out. I've already seen it once, and was goin' to do a review then, but just totally forgot 'bout it. This is a kinda movie you just wanna chill out and drink some beers, Like I did :D Also you don't want to take this movie seriously, if you do... ur gonna be like WTF. But if you do that anyways why you watchin' Zombie Strippers?!
Okay, starts off with a totally orginal idea, the zombies are suppose to be for the soldiers so dead people could fight the battles (since the whole world is in war cuz of bush)! We have never heard anythin' like that, crazy! But you know what, they had to test it out so who better than the homeless and middle class people right? Sounds good to me! But I guess they had a lil' problem in the testin' area and had to call in these badass soldiers (but really should just keep their mouth close). Now as these soldiers are takin' out the left over zombies some of them are gettin' lazy on the killin', but thats only cuz they can supposely be killed by this magenic laser gun this doc has built. But we all know thats bullshit, so when they thought they zombies were dead one of the soldier gets bit and let the this wonderful story begin. One of the best/funny scenes in this movie is how this soldier escapes from the other soldiers when he realize no survivers if biten. He just escapes in front of all of their faces, like just walks out of the room and after they do a head count they ask where he went. Shit just cracks me up. So hey, if u were gonna be a zombie where would the 1st place u be? Fuck yea, a strip club!
So now we are off to the strip club, let me tell you what we have instore. Jenna Jameson's character is like the head stripper, no stripper is on her level by the way she acts. You get to see her naked as a human and as a zombie which isn't that bad if you never seen her in a porno :lookarnd:. So Jenna gets bit infront of everybody at the strip club, by the dead soldier. Some how the crowd isn't involved in any of this, they don't react to her dyin' infront of them. The Boss which is Robert England, I just call him "The Boss" and his workers are freakin' out that his best stripper is dead, Or is she? I'm just kiddin' she's not dead DUH! She becomes some kinda super stripper zombie, which that can talk and think and do just 'bout anythin', also She can dance better. She gives this long strip scene as she is a zombie and at the end she picks a guy to give a "Lap Dance". Now we start to get to the killin', first one is painful for all guys Dick Eaten Off... Can't be fun. After, the other strippers seein' her makin' all that money and the crowd lovin' her zombie ass...The strippers slowly 1 by 1 wanna be zombies. Which is pretty fuckin' stupid but oh well, cuz if they are zomebies they get naked. The 2nd "Lap Dance" death I thought was really good, kinda reminded me of "Hatchet", but maybe even better.
Oh, I almost forgot... when these zombie strippers kill their dead become zombies and "The Boss" just decides oh we can just put them in the basement and nobody will know. I guess that solves that problem. Nah, some stupid ass stripper lets them out because she wanted to be a zombie. Now we got zombies running around attacking the crowd while we got zombie chicks stripping, its not too bad to look at lil' bit of gore and titties. But now we have the Battle between 2 jealous strippers in which Jenna Jameson can shoot out ping pong balls and pool balls out of her vagina, tryin' to hit another zombie stripper. While this is all goin' on the survivers are in "The Bosses" room, grabin' all the weapons since of course "The Boss" is apart of the NRA. Gotta love how convient it is. Lets just say they don't get to far with those. You know the rule, you gotta seprate.
Since, this is gettin' a lil' long let me sum up this endin' for you real quick... Not that I could make it any longer since the endin' was so simple. Remember 'bout those soldiers I was talkin' 'bout, Yea they are here to save the say. They come in guns blastin', we get to see some really bad cgi with heads exploding. And they pretty much save the day. Well kinda of, You get to hear how the story of the virus is let out and what happens next, but I'll let you find that out. The End.
Overall - First of all the story sucks, but I wasn't lookin' for a good story. There is plenty of gore (maybe not the best but some is good) and a lot of naked chicks runnin' around. It was pretty easy to follow and you don't have to pay attention to most of it to understand it. So I would rate this 7/10 just cuz I was in the mood for some gore and no story, and just happen to have a lot of naked girls :D