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View Full Version : Slighty Unfavorable F13th Review



BooBerry
02-14-2009, 04:41 PM
So I really didn't want to post another review since there's already 3 but :shrugs:

... I didn't like this remake. Which is strange because I really, really expected to. I enjoyed the TCM remake and considering this was made by just about the same people I figured I'd like it just as much. But I didn't.

SPOILERS follow.

So since what I liked about the film didn't amount to much I'll start there. I liked the opening-opening scene... not Jason's first appearance and kills, but the quick 1980's flashback with his Mom and the counselor. Was a nice way to start the movie off I thought.

I also liked that they attempted to work the cliches of slasher movies like F13 in their favor, but I still thought they failed. I liked my soda too, it was hella cold and carbonated.

So the crap I didn't like... I didn't like Jason. I thought it was fine when they gave Michael Myers a childhood backstory and made him more human in the remake, but I hate that they tried to do the same with Jason. He was always more of a monster to me than a man, even more so than Michael.

Now feel free to correct me because I haven't seen the original films in quite a while, but did Jason ever use a bow and arrow before? Or anything that required more than swinging a blade... or sleeping bag? In my opinion, having him rig traps and navigate the woods and hold hostages (yes I know the whole locket nonsense) was humanizing him and I didn't like it. Suddenly Jason just became another psycho in the woods.

The storyline was okay, since you really don't need much for a slasher remake I suppose, but I still thought something a little more similar to the first couple of films would have been better. I wanted camp counselors, not douchebag trust fund babies. The camp itself didn't seem to be as big of a deal in this when it should have been.

Too many boobs :D (jk, I would have been extremely upset with this film if they'd not thrown in nudity.)

So yeah, all in all I gave it 6/10. Unless I hear the unrated edition is amazing and has some worthwhile special features, I don't think I'll be grabbing this one on DVD. Glad most everyone liked this though. :coolbeer:

PS - I agree with 3/6 in the other post wherever it is, that the way the douchebags and skanks were talking was how all my friends talk (sadly), so I was grateful they didn't sound retarded.

PSS - Hated the use of redneck white trash who molest mannequins. That ridiculous nonsense needs to be left to Rob Zombie.

skybrick
02-17-2009, 03:39 AM
Didn't really like it either with a lack of suspense and annoying characters.
Plus Jason leaves no survivors!!!

H78
02-17-2009, 09:58 AM
This wasn't very good at all. It was an OK way to kill an hour and a half, but it added nothing to the genre.

Jason was NOT scary in this at all (not that he's been in a long time anyways, but you get the point). There was just nothing intimidating about him. It seemed like if someone just shot him in the face the movie could have ended right there.

Also, what's with not showing his face (clearly)? That's always been the moment of "OMGZ@##!!!" in these films. This was just watered down nonsense...It was Friday the 13th meets The Hills Have Eyes remake.

Terrible, terrible stuff. The only thing I thought they did well was the characters you were supposed to like were actually likable. Other than that, the script seemed like it was written by a 19-year-old pimple-faced-virgin who's an aspiring screenwriter.

4/10 :negative:

Toby
02-17-2009, 04:14 PM
1/10 :negative:

3/6
02-17-2009, 04:20 PM
:die:

Sutter Kane
02-17-2009, 04:24 PM
5/10 Not bad but could have been better. I was disappointed by the generic kills.

Misfit
02-17-2009, 04:31 PM
i felt that it didnt feel like a friday the 13th film...where was crystal lake? :dsp:.......i felt like they could have taken out jason and added any other killer and changed the title to that franchise and it would have fit :shrugs:

steelba
02-17-2009, 05:01 PM
You just didn't like it because you had to stare directly at hot naked women for 90 minutes, homo :straightface:

3/6
02-17-2009, 05:05 PM
You just didn't like it because you had to stare directly at hot naked women for 90 minutes, homo :straightface:

:lol2:

BooBerry
02-17-2009, 05:07 PM
Other than that, the script seemed like it was written by a 19-year-old pimple-faced-virgin who's an aspiring screenwriter.

Haha, so true.



i felt that it didnt feel like a friday the 13th film...where was crystal lake? :dsp:.......i felt like they could have taken out jason and added any other killer and changed the title to that franchise and it would have fit :shrugs:

Exactly. Could have been any run of the mill slasher.


You just didn't like it because you had to stare directly at hot naked women for 90 minutes, homo :straightface:

That's besides the point :shakefist:.

Cobretti
02-23-2009, 01:52 AM
Much like the atrocious TCM remakes, this piece of shite brought absolutely nothing new to the table.

Lame, unimaginative kills, non-existent gore and stupidity at every turn. This movie succeeded handily in appealing to the lowest common denominator.

BASSI
02-24-2009, 10:50 AM
i didn't like it, it just didn't feel like Friday 13th movie at all