MEITTI
03-21-2009, 06:44 PM
Once again I need the help of my fellow horror freaks. But this time I bet this will be a lot harder a challenge for all of you.
I saw this on german tv once, but it wasnt surprisingly dubbed like how they usually ruin their movies.
Still, I couldnt make out a thing they were saying, for the volume was low, and subtitles were german.
But heres some of the parts I can remember:
A girl gets kidnapped by this thing which looks like a burnt corpse disguised as a police officer. He had these very funny handcuffs, which were literally severed hands chained together.
So, his boyfriend with his trusty dog chases the cop out with his pizza-delivery car, only to realise he has followed him into a very weird desert.
Next thing I remember is he got attacked by this insane chef for some reason, who jumped on the roof of the car, and started destroying the windows.
So the pizza-delivery boy grabs his sawed off, and blasts a whole into the rabid chef's head, which funnily bleeds white powder.
During his ventures, he stumbles into this rock-mining facility sort of thing. There he sees a line of hapless people waiting for their time to get into the rock-crushing machinery, to be grinded alive. When he's about to leave, he sees this waitress's leg flying out, and standing on the ground on its own for some reason.
Other subtle things I remember is where he stumbles across the gate to Hades, where this black, blind boat-keeper (who looked a lot like Samuel Jackson) were having dead souls to his boat. His dog pisses the stop-motion animated Cerberus off by marking his area on the Cerberus's chains.
Other things I remember were
1) him going to a strip-club, which had the ladies dancing inside cages. But whenever someone tried to reach and squeeze them, their hands suddenly burst in fire.
2) finding the girl, only to realise it was really just a very ugly succubus, then this little boy starts following him around for some reason.
3) Finally he finds himself in a palace with weird-looking clay soldiers taking him captive. He has this conversation with the palace's lord, which I think must've been The Devil himself, and finally him escaping with his girl and the boy, while blasting the porcelain-soldiers to bits with his shotgun.
Whats the name of this movie?! It's been bugging me for so long now!
I saw this on german tv once, but it wasnt surprisingly dubbed like how they usually ruin their movies.
Still, I couldnt make out a thing they were saying, for the volume was low, and subtitles were german.
But heres some of the parts I can remember:
A girl gets kidnapped by this thing which looks like a burnt corpse disguised as a police officer. He had these very funny handcuffs, which were literally severed hands chained together.
So, his boyfriend with his trusty dog chases the cop out with his pizza-delivery car, only to realise he has followed him into a very weird desert.
Next thing I remember is he got attacked by this insane chef for some reason, who jumped on the roof of the car, and started destroying the windows.
So the pizza-delivery boy grabs his sawed off, and blasts a whole into the rabid chef's head, which funnily bleeds white powder.
During his ventures, he stumbles into this rock-mining facility sort of thing. There he sees a line of hapless people waiting for their time to get into the rock-crushing machinery, to be grinded alive. When he's about to leave, he sees this waitress's leg flying out, and standing on the ground on its own for some reason.
Other subtle things I remember is where he stumbles across the gate to Hades, where this black, blind boat-keeper (who looked a lot like Samuel Jackson) were having dead souls to his boat. His dog pisses the stop-motion animated Cerberus off by marking his area on the Cerberus's chains.
Other things I remember were
1) him going to a strip-club, which had the ladies dancing inside cages. But whenever someone tried to reach and squeeze them, their hands suddenly burst in fire.
2) finding the girl, only to realise it was really just a very ugly succubus, then this little boy starts following him around for some reason.
3) Finally he finds himself in a palace with weird-looking clay soldiers taking him captive. He has this conversation with the palace's lord, which I think must've been The Devil himself, and finally him escaping with his girl and the boy, while blasting the porcelain-soldiers to bits with his shotgun.
Whats the name of this movie?! It's been bugging me for so long now!