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koolmike
06-27-2009, 10:18 AM
I know the man hasn't even been buried yet, but these jokes and more have been text to every cell phone and e-mailed to almost every PC since yesterday. If you haven't heard them, here they are :

(prolly goin' to hell for this :D)

Michael Jackson hasn’t been this stiff since Macully Culkin spent the night at Neverland Ranch.

Because Jackson’s body was 95% plastic, he will be melted down and turned into legos, this way kids can play with him for a change.

Reports that Michael Jackson has died of a heart attack in his home are untrue… He actually died having a stroke in the children’s ward.

In the spirit of recycling, Michael Jackson will be melted down into plastic party cups so kids can still get their lips around his rim.

In accordance with Michael Jackson’s will, little boys’ pants shall be flown at half-mast today.

Doctors are looking into claims that MJ’s death could have been caused by an allergic reaction from eating 12 year old nuts.

I heard Michael Jackson died of food poisoning from eating a 5 year old wiener.

Micheal jackson will always be with us… he is not biodegradable.

Farrah Fawcett arrived at the Pearly Gates and God asked her what he could do for her having led such an honest life. Farrah asked God to simply make sure the children of the world were safe. Five minutes later, Michael Jackson died.

MJ’s dying wish was to be melted down and turned into straws so he can still get sucked on by kids.

It has been released that MJs last wish was that he wants to be melted down and made into a slide so kids can go down on him forever.

In memory of MJ’s death, McDonald’s is coming out with the new “McJackson”. It’s 50 year old meat between 12 year old buns.

Michael Jackson’s ashes are going to be put in an Etch A Sketch so kids can still twiddle his knob.

Michael Jackson’s death has now been ruled a suicide. Apparently doctors told him that the only way he could get whiter is if he died.

Only in America can someone be born a poor black kid, and die a rich white woman.

Madonna sent her condolences to the Jackson family. Then asked how much they wanted for the kids.

Breaking News: Casper the friendly ghost was molested in the early hours of this morning!

Michael Jackson’s last words: “Take me to the Children’s Hospital!”

What was Michael Jacksons last hit? The floor!

Michael Jackson died of a heart attack. He really shouldn’t have looked at the man in the mirror.

=============================================

Not too bad.

Sutter Kane
06-27-2009, 10:22 AM
As a musician and music lover I'll be focusing on his music contributions for now.

So much for that. :lol:

koolmike
06-27-2009, 10:24 AM
So much for that. :lol:

:lol:

He got his 30 minutes of bereavement from me.

I figured I gave him his props in CE, now a little fun :D

Elduardo
06-27-2009, 10:30 AM
This is a bit much.

koolmike
06-27-2009, 10:32 AM
This is a bit much.

:flex:

Sutter Kane
06-27-2009, 10:37 AM
I just texted the Casper joke to some friends. :bigthumbup:

DMHead777
06-27-2009, 10:47 AM
I got a few of these as texts today haha

Broken Skull
06-27-2009, 11:02 AM
:lol:

He got his 30 minutes of bereavement from me.

I figured I gave him his props in CE, now a little fun :D
:hi5:


This is a bit much.

There were Jokes about MJ when he was alive....can't expect that to change now. Even if he is dead.

FrighT MasteR
06-27-2009, 11:03 AM
:stare:

Sutter Kane
06-27-2009, 11:06 AM
Exactly. I'm not above a good laugh.

Darkgod
06-27-2009, 11:21 AM
the farrah one was good

Luris Blear
06-27-2009, 11:31 AM
the farrah one was good

I laughed and shared it with my wife. She laughed. The Farrah one was great.

Joker
06-27-2009, 11:34 AM
http://i149.photobucket.com/albums/s69/jellybelly217/av-59577.gif

Lemmywinks
06-27-2009, 05:42 PM
Not feeling guilty for laughing at these jokes at all. I didn't know him,he never molested me who gives a shit he's dead.

KING
06-27-2009, 06:09 PM
Only in America can someone be born a poor black kid, and die a rich white woman.

I like this one :mhehe:

HEKTIK15
06-27-2009, 06:15 PM
Those were good Mike , thanx....5 year old weiner :lol2:

Get Some
06-27-2009, 06:33 PM
one of my friends sent this to me yesterday some are really funny

BooBerry
06-27-2009, 06:37 PM
http://i84.photobucket.com/albums/k19/Frosty120985/wvxqar.gif

And my favorite to surface so far:
http://i84.photobucket.com/albums/k19/Frosty120985/808641bbc39f4b4aa9b5fe50d0ecd045.jpg

IKickAssForTheLord
06-27-2009, 06:49 PM
:lol2: boo, I hate that CSI cuz of that dude.

bitchslicer
06-27-2009, 07:02 PM
now that MJ is dead its finally safe for madeleine mccann to come out of hiding :straightface:

UzumakiW
06-27-2009, 11:15 PM
These were good :mhehe:

WarBeast
06-28-2009, 12:30 AM
Michael Jackson's remains will be melted down and used to make Walmart shopping bags... that way he'll still be white and a danger to children.

Darkgod
06-28-2009, 12:38 AM
now that MJ is dead its finally safe for madeleine mccann to come out of hiding :straightface:

hmmmm.... not really funny


Michael Jackson's remains will be melted down and used to make Walmart shopping bags... that way he'll still be white and a danger to children.

would have been good... but wal mart bags are blue here

Toby
06-28-2009, 12:39 AM
"Well, the only thing I can say about MJ is...he beat it."

The jokes were okay, but seriously there's more pedo jokes than anything else...

IKickAssForTheLord
06-28-2009, 12:58 AM
Wal-Mart Bags here are white, so good one War :D.

Bedogsexor
06-28-2009, 04:21 AM
I still think its pretty fucked up to joke about somebody who JUST died.

IM_UndeaD
06-28-2009, 04:29 AM
I still think its pretty fucked up to joke about somebody who JUST died.
:lol:Its Also Pretty Fucked Up to be a Kiddy Diddler :shrugs:

bitchslicer
06-28-2009, 08:33 AM
:lol2:

satanocat
06-29-2009, 05:51 PM
somebody at work told me this one today at work

hey did you hear billy mays died? yeah he realized that stock for oxiclean was going to plummet now that the number one customer is dead

Bedogsexor
06-29-2009, 06:39 PM
:lol:Its Also Pretty Fucked Up to be a Kiddy Diddler :shrugs:
Right because they prooved he was guilty...

bitchslicer
06-29-2009, 06:53 PM
you don't have to be proven guilty in court for it to be true in life, why would he pay that kid so much money to shut up if he hadn't fiddled with him

bitchslicer
06-29-2009, 06:54 PM
jacko---> :sex: <---- kids

WarBeast
06-30-2009, 05:00 AM
would have been good... but wal mart bags are blue here


Well... I'm sure he turned blue right after he let out his last "heeHEE" and hit the floor...

DMHead777
06-30-2009, 08:14 AM
That Zoolander gif is by far the funniest thing I've ever seen.

bitchslicer
06-30-2009, 05:19 PM
Well... I'm sure he turned blue right after he let out his last "heeHEE" and hit the floor...

:lol2:

Darkgod
07-06-2009, 12:43 AM
Well... I'm sure he turned blue right after he let out his last "heeHEE" and hit the floor...

:lol:

Doc Awesome
07-06-2009, 01:09 AM
This one's about Billy Mays

They say that celebrity's always go in threes. Leave it to Billy Mays to throw the 4th one in for free. :D

Darkgod
07-06-2009, 01:13 AM
:straightface:

Doc Awesome
07-06-2009, 01:18 AM
:starefreak:

SkullBat308
07-06-2009, 01:40 AM
you don't have to be proven guilty in court for it to be true in life, why would he pay that kid so much money to shut up if he hadn't fiddled with him

Exactly!

bloody_apocalypse
07-07-2009, 10:25 AM
lmfao think i was told some of those a few hours after it happened but damn they are still funny as hell

ReptilianPig
07-07-2009, 10:38 AM
Oh, shit! I don't do the text thing, nor do I read about celebrity death shit, but the title was compelling and these jokes really had me laughing out loud.

I still think its pretty fucked up to joke about somebody who JUST died.
... So, let us know when the time comes. : cuts eyes: That's what makes them so damn enjoyable. They are so fucked up. *rejoice*

Sutter Kane
07-07-2009, 10:51 AM
One must have a sense of humor about death. Otherwise its just too fucking serious, regardless of when that person died and especially if you didn't know them. Personally, I like a good joke.

koolmike
07-07-2009, 10:53 AM
Personally, I like a good joke.

What do you call a skeleton in a Polish person's closet?

...The winner at hide & seek :D

bloody_apocalypse
07-07-2009, 11:16 AM
wow lmao I will have to remember that one

Sutter Kane
07-07-2009, 11:28 AM
What do you call a skeleton in a Polish person's closet?

...The winner at hide & seek :D

Haha I've heard most of them I think. My favorite was why their women don;t use Vibrators:
It chips their teeth.


Also Why did the polish guy cross the road?
Couldn't get his dick out of the chicken

Joker
07-07-2009, 01:55 PM
My favorite Polish joke~
This one was circulating about a year after 9/11.


Poland joins the coalition! God bless them!!

Polish marines stormed Bloomingdales Department store in New York yesterday after their intelligence agency reported that Bed Linen was on the fourth floor.

No one was hurt.

deadcellsociety
07-07-2009, 02:16 PM
Hey there.
I found this pretty chucklesome

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ELyTBXzfQJ8

Enjoy!

DMHead777
07-08-2009, 03:18 AM
Personally I love Helen Keller Jokes

Why could Helen Keller only masterbate with one hand? So she can moan with the other.

Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? You would too if your name was ooohhhggg!!!!

What is Helen Keller's favorite color? Velcro

How come Helen Keller couldn't drive? Because she is a woman

How do you mess with Helen Keller? Rearrange the furniture, or stick a plunger in the toilet.