Breaking News: Jason Voorhees Test Positive For Steroids!
Jason Voorhees answered one big question Friday, admitting his mother repeatedly injected him with a substance from the Crystal Lake. The Friday the 13th franchise star blamed his 2008 positive test on being old but yet having to feel new. "I knew we weren't taking Tic Tacs," nodded Jason, who was joined at the head table by victims who he had killed earlier in the franchise.
Before a horde of reporters at Camp Crystal Lake, Voorhees began by nodding a statement in which he again apologized for taking banned drugs from 2004-2008 while he was training for his upcoming 2009 project.
Then Jason turned to his future teenager sex-crazed victims and searched for the right words.
It took 37 seconds — a break in which he looked side to side, blinked several times, tilted his mask and took a sip of water through a straw — then finally looked up and nodded.
"Thank you."
Jason nodded he wasn't sure how the drug use helped him, but admitted he had more energy to kill and felt more excitement when killing.
The eight-time M.V.K and horror film's highest-paid slasher spoke at Crystal Lake's spring camp 10 days after the reports that he tested positive in 2008.
For years, Voorhees denied using performance-enhancing drugs. But when reports showed he was on a list of 26 killers who tested positive during horror film's 2004 survey, along with killers like Leatherface, The Tall Man, Michael Myers, Candyman, The Little Girl From The Ring, Chucky, and The Creeper.
None of the killers would discuss Jason's latest confession.
The 42-year-old Jason has killed 173 sex-crazed teens (including when his soul was in other people's body) and is said by many to be the greatest slasher of all time.
"He's a huge investment to the camp. Jason had a ton of potential, his rookie season when he first returned to the camp was insane. He made a definite statement; killing anybody, big titty, little titty, it didn't matter. But as time passed, I felt like he wasn't killing these young topless sluts like he use to. You could really see it in Freddy vs. Jason," camp adivsor Brian Knottingham said.
First to report, KingoftheHorror, very sad day.
