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  1. #41
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    I own that Peice of Shit

    I found it to be a cheesy good time.
    I mean he's melting for fuck's sake.

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  2. #42
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    Quote Originally Posted by steelba View Post
    I own that Peice of Shit

    I found it to be a cheesy good time.
    I mean he's melting for fuck's sake.
    Wow, I cant tell if you're mad, or just yanking my chain. So I'll assume it's both and leave you to it.....'Listen to me! I"M Doctor Ted Nelson!"

    *security guards shoots him in the head immediatelly after*

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    'Just whoring myself a smidge'

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    "I would stick my dick in that girls eye socket" IKICKASSFORTHELORD

  3. #43
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    Well I agree completely with the review.

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  4. #44
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    If the Incredible Melting Man is the worst horror movie you've seen, you haven't seen many horror flicks.

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  5. #45
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    incredible metling man is an amazing cinematic experience.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1C1Y439RboQ

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    ordinary fucking people, I hate 'em.

  6. #46
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    He gets stronger as he melts

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    Last edited by steelba; 10-13-2007 at 12:55 AM.



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  7. #47
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    Quote Originally Posted by DrSatan View Post
    incredible metling man is an amazing cinematic experience.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1C1Y439RboQ
    wow that clip right there makes me wanna see the movie. Damn that chick is like a linebacker goin' through that glass, shit didn't even phase her.

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  8. #48
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    Quote Originally Posted by steelba View Post
    If the Incredible Melting Man is the worst horror movie you've seen, you haven't seen many horror flicks.
    Says the man who likes watching Dr. Ted Nelson wander around and mope

    Nope havent seen too many horror flicks, nope nope...Heres a short list.
    -------
    Jaws
    Aliens
    Alien 3
    Alien Ressurection
    Predator
    Predator 2
    Night of the living dead
    Dawn of the dead
    Day of the dead
    Dead reckoning
    Dracula(1930)
    Dracula(1990)
    The Mummy(1932)
    The creeping terror
    Ju-on
    Frankenstein
    Bride of Frankenstein
    The wolfman
    creature from the black lagoon
    Night of the lepus
    Hellraiser
    Hellraiser 2
    the indestructable man
    the brute man
    Nightmare on elm street
    Nightmare on elm street 3
    Nightmare on elm street six
    Friday the 13th
    Friday the 13th pt 5
    Friday the 13th pt 7
    Friday the 13th pt 8
    Friday the 13th p 9
    Jason X
    Freddy vs jason
    Evil dead
    Evil dead 2
    Army of darkness
    The thing
    Halloween
    Halloween 2
    Halloween 6
    Halloween 7
    Silent Hill
    Resident evil (yes I'm ashamed)
    Resident evil 2 (still ashamed)
    Event Horizon
    Shadow of the vampire
    House on haunted Hill
    Monster Squad
    Poltergeist
    Poltergeist 2
    Poltergeist 3
    House
    House 2
    Tremors
    Tremors 2
    night of the blood beast
    Attack of the giant leeches
    Tormented
    the haunting(1999)
    The texas chainsaw massacre(1974)
    The texas chainsaw massacre(2004)
    28 days later
    St. Johns wort
    The Fly
    Sleepy Hallow
    The omen
    Saw
    The blair witch project
    Creepshow
    Creepshow 2
    Nightbreed
    The shining
    the sixth sense
    pitch black

    Having seen all these films and knowing each of them have flaws and as bad as some of them are, the incredible melting man is the worst on the list. It doesnt have any redeeming value to me and is as repulsive as Michelle Rodrigez.

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  9. #49
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wrathborne View Post
    Says the man who likes watching Dr. Ted Nelson wander around and mope

    Nope havent seen too many horror flicks, nope nope...Heres a short list.
    -------
    Jaws
    Aliens
    Alien 3
    Alien Ressurection
    Predator
    Predator 2
    Night of the living dead
    Dawn of the dead
    Day of the dead
    Dead reckoning
    Dracula(1930)
    Dracula(1990)
    The Mummy(1932)
    The creeping terror
    Ju-on
    Frankenstein
    Bride of Frankenstein
    The wolfman
    creature from the black lagoon
    Night of the lepus
    Hellraiser
    Hellraiser 2
    the indestructable man
    the brute man
    Nightmare on elm street
    Nightmare on elm street 3
    Nightmare on elm street six
    Friday the 13th
    Friday the 13th pt 5
    Friday the 13th pt 7
    Friday the 13th pt 8
    Friday the 13th p 9
    Jason X
    Freddy vs jason
    Evil dead
    Evil dead 2
    Army of darkness
    The thing
    Halloween
    Halloween 2
    Halloween 6
    Halloween 7
    Silent Hill
    Resident evil (yes I'm ashamed)
    Resident evil 2 (still ashamed)
    Event Horizon
    Shadow of the vampire
    House on haunted Hill
    Monster Squad
    Poltergeist
    Poltergeist 2
    Poltergeist 3
    House
    House 2
    Tremors
    Tremors 2
    night of the blood beast
    Attack of the giant leeches
    Tormented
    the haunting(1999)
    The texas chainsaw massacre(1974)
    The texas chainsaw massacre(2004)
    28 days later
    St. Johns wort
    The Fly
    Sleepy Hallow
    The omen
    Saw
    The blair witch project
    Creepshow
    Creepshow 2
    Nightbreed
    The shining
    the sixth sense
    pitch black

    Having seen all these films and knowing each of them have flaws and as bad as some of them are, the incredible melting man is the worst on the list. It doesnt have any redeeming value to me and is as repulsive as Michelle Rodrigez.

    :point: Very short list

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  10. #50
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    I doubt that's all the films he's seen.

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    Man has not eaten God; God has eaten man." Philip K. Dick The Man in the High Castle (1962)

  11. #51
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    The most impressive thing about the list is that most of those flicks aren't mainstream horror!

    I've seen 100's of horror flicks, and i'm sure everyone here has seen the flicks you listed. Needless to say TIMM is not worst H flick i've seen.
    Humungous and The Gates of Hell 2 are worse.
    Zombie Bloodbath 2 and Zombie Lake are 1,000x worse than TIMM.
    Rana: The Lagend of Shadow Lake is possible the worst horror flick ever made.
    Ofcoarse you probably haven't seen any of those movies.

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  12. #52
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    Quote Originally Posted by steelba View Post
    The most impressive thing about the list is that most of those flicks aren't mainstream horror!

    I've seen 100's of horror flicks, and i'm sure everyone here has seen the flicks you listed. Needless to say TIMM is not worst H flick i've seen.
    Humungous and The Gates of Hell 2 are worse.
    Zombie Bloodbath 2 and Zombie Lake are 1,000x worse than TIMM.
    Rana: The Lagend of Shadow Lake is possible the worst horror flick ever made.
    Ofcoarse you probably haven't seen any of those movies.

    Course they're not all mainstream horror, I like diversity in the horror movies I watch. Cant just stick to the mainstream ones, the old Roger Corman films can be fun even if they're about as scary as opening a door on a bright sunny day.

    You're right I havent seen the five titles you listed, I am however familair with what folks online have said about 'zombie lake'.

    But heres' the thing, I don't go out of my way to watch total Z grade crap. If I see a film titled 'Zombie lake', or 'Zombie 2', or anything by Uwe Boll I generally avoid it.

    I've seen a couple hundred horror movies myself, admitidely most of them not really that good, some of them I just had to watch based on curiosity. Like Hellraiser and Hellraiser 2. I dont consider them anything special or worth watching again. But thats my opinion.

    I dont really watch horror movies for the gore, I'm all about story for the most part. Story and character development are my primary interests in films. Though I'ma sucker for good 'mis en scen', atmosphere and some nice splatter too.

    Even a bad movie can still have a good story, Lets pace it Night of the living dead outside the horror movie circle is considared a bad movie. but its got such a good story to it and the way that its told, that I disregard that fact.

    Well todays review will be 'Dr.Jekyll and Mr.Hyde', the black and white version starring Frederic March. Been wanting to review this bitch for a while as I got some praise, and some gripes with it.

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  13. #53
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    Alright I read all of that and fair enough.

    I'd like to put in a request for a review you do sometime this month.

    Review Wrong Turn 2 (everyone on the board is praising it).
    It's up streaming and for download everywhere on the net.
    After going through a couple of your recent reviews, I really wanna read your review for that flick :nod:

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  14. #54
    The Stoner In The Horror Movie
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    ^^^^ I agree

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  15. #55
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    I'm looking forward to the D.J & Mr. Hyde review, I thought it was a brilliant film.

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    "(Insanity) is not hubris, not pride; it is inflation of the ego to its ultimate - confusion between him who worships and that which is worshiped.
    Man has not eaten God; God has eaten man." Philip K. Dick The Man in the High Castle (1962)

  16. #56
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    Dr.Jekyll and mr.Hyde

    Can do will try to get to watching it later this week. Cant say I was a very big fan of the original though so we'll see.

    PLOT
    Dr. Henry Jekyll wants to marry his fiance, but her stodgy uptight dickweed of a dad has decided the answer is 'no'.

    So Dr.Jekyll turns to experimenting with drugs and creates the T-Virus...I mean the evil chemical forumula which turns him from a handsome white man into a hairy hard drinking abusive womanizing black man. I shit you not.

    The story is centered around how in each of us a great evil is waiting to be unleashed. Not a bad plot, but not enough happens in this 98 minute film.

    6/10

    SCRIPT
    Well as said, its not a bad script but not much happens in it. it focuses entirely on character and not on any real story. Mr.Hyde has no goals other than to fuck and get drunk.

    Jekyll does become somewhat addicted to his forumula and the freedom he gets to enjoy as mr.Hyde(gentlemen are epxected to always be proper and restrained)

    the sympathetic charactrer in the film is actually a beautiful free spritired prostitute. But shes ultimatelly broken by Hydes abuse and psychological torture.

    If things had sped up in the film and there was more resolution then I'd give it a higher school, but its only a little above average based on how fucking long it takes for anything to occur.

    6/10

    ACTING
    Frederic March as Henrey jekyll the kind hearted but overly curious, confused and lonely man is a nice performance. its hsi Hyde performance that I didn't like, there are times when Hyde is a nasty son of a bitch, those are expected.

    But there are other times, which is most of the time, that Hyde sets a lever so low Shatner wouldnt go there, peformance wise. Hammier than a dump filled with dead pigs.

    Miriam Hopkins plays a saucy free spirited prostitute named Ivy who is the most sympathetic character in the film as I said before, Unlike the stodgy judgemental upper class with all their 'pants on head retarded' rules and manners, Ivy is free spirited and fun loving. She likes to go out and drink and has a good sense of humor this is taken from her after she meets Hyde.

    Its a pretty good performance and manages to add some heart to the film.

    7/10

    MAKE UP
    The Mr.Hyde Make up as well as transformation scenes are STILL amazing to watch after almost 80 years. Wally Westmore did a fantastic job with the make up. However here is my biggest gripe about the film.

    When Dr.Jekyll turns into mr.Hyde, he goes from Caucasian to Negro. He looks like a black guy with simian traits(the teeth and fangs). Not to mention the black dots added around Marches nostrils to make them look wider.

    Its not as bad as 'birth of a nation', but it is in no way acceptable to me. that deducts a few points.

    6/10

    EDITING
    Another case of a slow movie where not enough really happens. Mr. Hyde driving a woman insane isnt bad, you'll find you really hate Mr.Hyde as he psychologically tortures Icy the prostitute. thats really focused more in the film than anything else.

    But I felt more was needed here. Its a film that focuses more on character than story and that can very much deter your attention.

    6/10

    CINEMATROGROPHY
    One of the early films that originated the dark dismal look that we horror fans love. the exterior of the film has a particular dark feel to it when Mr.Hyde is on the prowl for luvin.

    7/10

    DIRECTION
    Some pretty good 'mis en scene' and good performances here and there give the film some credit. But its the weak climax, fact that little happens in the film, and hammy Hyde performance that just makes me deduct soem points.

    6/10

    FUN FACTOR
    It's not that fun of afilm to watch its slow, not enough happens, you really will hate Mr.Hyde for being a disgusting creature and the movies climax seems a little too...well brief. Doesnt really have any resoultion

    5/10

    CHEESE!
    Oh yes, there will be cheese. not entirely the bad type either, but the Hyde performance, and lack of anythign goign on for 1/3 rd of the movie thathurt.

    2/10

    OVERALL
    51/90 = 'D'

    This film hasnt aged all that well really. Not really worth watching I'd say, unless you're a sucker for 'ye olden horror'.
    I won't lie, it took me two tries to get through this movie.

    Its not a bad morality tale, but there wasnt enough story for a 98 minute run time.

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    Last edited by Wrathborne; 10-13-2007 at 06:20 PM.
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  17. #57
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    Even a bad movie can still have a good story, Lets pace it Night of the living dead outside the horror movie circle is considared a bad movie. but its got such a good story to it and the way that its told, that I disregard that fact.
    I have to disagree with that. It has some flaws: clunky dialogue and the actings not great. It's also a critically acclaimed movie (and I don't mean the cabal of internet B-movie reviewers.), it's stood the test of time and still has a following. Horror genre or otherwise it's accepted as a modern classic.

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  18. #58
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    The Wolfman (1941)

    PLOT
    Larry Talbot returns to Wales, his familys home to reconcile with his father, gets romantically interested with alocal girl and is buitten by a wolf while trying to save the girls friend.

    Larry is now damned to become the wolf man on the full moon.
    Good plot this established the modern werewolf mythos we all enjoy.

    8/10

    SCRIPT
    Being an early horror film theres more emphasis on the plot than story or character development. That hurts the film a lot while it retains an element of mystery to it which I find cool, I cant give it too much credit as its a very, very short film. There was a lot more that could have been done and explored but wasnt.

    Not to mention the biggest question of all...why are there so many gypsies in Whales? I could underastand if this was maybe more eastern Europe not but in Whales.

    The biggest flaw in the film I find really, is that it has no fucking resolution at all. Now thats a common flaw in horror films way back when. after the climax there would be maybe a one minute scene that had one line that 'wrapped up' the film.

    It has a lot of really good elements to it though, Larry being ostracized in church and in town, his relationship with his father, and mythos creation as well. Its just a script that needed 'more'.

    6/10

    ACTING
    Lon Chaney as Larry Talbot would always be his legacy as an actor. Larry is very much an outcast and awkward man who doesnt seem to fit in, Larry is also a very kind man. Thus the good and evil complex is once again explored in a horror movie, the wolfman is suppossed to be everything evil about Larry.

    Claude Rains as Sir John Talbot Larrys domineering father is a man tyring to keep his familys honor and legacy continuing in Whales.

    Once again the rest of the casut is part of th ebackground they blend in and or are just there for exposition. This film also is notorious for wasting Bela Lugosi, he's only in the film for about 3 minutes and thats it. Lugosi is an outtsanding actor and I really felt he was robbed here.

    7/10

    EFFECTS
    Jack Peirces make up strikes again here, while the wolfman itself hasnt quite aged as well as frankensteins monster, its not a bad make up job.

    The final trasnformation scene however doesnt quite 'blend' in a swell make up wise as the first one does. Granted the first transformation is a much more suttle one, even so the final trasnformation from wolfman to human is a little 'bleh'. the Mr.Hyde to dr.jekyll transformation a decade earlier was much better crafted I felt.

    7/10

    CINEMATOGROPHY
    I really dug the look of this film, especially the crypt scene. The lighting alone there was beautiful enough for 5/10.

    I also very much liked how dark, dismal, and foggy the film got when the Wolfman was on the prowl. This gave the movie a much more supernatural tone to it than any other werewolf film.

    8/10

    EDITING
    Well at 70 minutes total this isnt a veyr long film, it also doesnt have as much happen in it. There are 4 kills in the movie and then a lot of exposition in it. The kills dont make the film though, the wolfman on the prowl supernatural element do.

    But the wolfman doesnt appear until halfway into the film and hes only got a few scenes really. i wanted more suspence and atmosphere.

    Also I LOVE how when Larry talbot is transforming he's wearing a white wifebeater and then when hes the Wolfman hes wearing a black coat. And when he changes back into a human hes wearing the wifebeater and lighter attire every time.

    Not the best continuity or pacing.

    6/10

    DIRECTION
    The film is pretty well crafted for all its short comings. I give the director a lot of credit for created this dark and dysmal world engulfed by fog at night. Still more character, suspence, and well, more things going on in the film would have made it MUCH better.

    8/10

    FUN FACTOR
    It's a fun little movie, yes its slow and doesnt have as much going on as it should, but its got some atmosphere to it and the birth of a new movie monster(eat it werewolf of london fans). Still it's too short for me to give it too much praise.

    7/10

    CHEESE!
    1940's romance cheese...check.
    1940's skepticism on anything not proven by science...check
    1940's incorect geographical location of minorities?...Big ol' check.

    Yes this is a cheesy film, but its good cheese. not great cheese, but good cheese

    6/10

    Overall
    63/90= 'C'

    Its a good film to watch if you have 70 minutes to kill, but its way too short, has NO resolution and yes it has people doing stupid things.

    Dad going on a stroll at night surrounded by traps, and men with guns and itchy trigger fingers eveywhere.

    The love interest doing the same expect being warned ahead of time that the wolfman is out to kill her.

    Detetcive dickhead basically saying 'Oh..he killed him because it was dark and he though he was a wolf'.... you said this at the begining of the movie too dickhead. thats just ...lazy screenwriting.

    WOuld have been MUCH stronger if everyone there saw the Wolfman being clubbed adn THEN turning back into Larry Talbot and then saying that.

    But comign accross the same type of death twice after it happens and then making the assumption?...yeah, bad juju.

    0 Not allowed! Not allowed!
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  19. #59
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    steelba's Avatar
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    Haven't seen the Wolfman, might have to check it out.

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  20. #60
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    Wrathborne's Avatar
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    the horrors of Spider Island

    Eh, what the fuck, why not another bad wannabe horror expliotation crap film.

    PLOT
    A bunch of dancers survive a plane crash only to be stalked by a'monster' on a desserted Isle. Fuckign german screenwriters, what were they thinking!? There are so many better ways to exploit scantilly clad women than this!

    Yeah the movie is to have scantilly clad German actresses (its a poor dub for the US) stalked by a monster thats well...lamer than anything you've ever seen.

    3/10

    SCRIPT
    Theres not script, anyone who says there's a script is lying. Any site that lists a screenwriter has been lied too.

    0/10

    ACTING
    Acting, yeah right. The actresses in the film put out performances that porn stars would blush at. Not to mention the dubbers of the actresses are just as rotten.

    I think two of the actresses in the film give decent performances in terms of reacting to the 'monster'. but thats it.

    This is just a 'film most rotten'. if it werent for the skin factor and the fact its almost an easy film to watch it'd be as bad as 'the incredible melting man'

    1/10

    EDITING
    This film has nothing happen but women in shredded up and revealing clothes, not bad, but the way shits filmed and the pacing or lack there of is just...weird.

    Seriously its fucking bizaare.

    0/10

    MAKE UP
    Yeah right, the monste rmake up is interesting in a cheezy way, but its not scarey and is quite frankley congressionally retarded.I wish there was a rubber foam suit monster, least that'd be funnier to watch.

    2/10

    CINEMATOGROPHY
    The films tone is....so poorly shot and filmed its hard to make up your mind as to what the fuck they were going for. It's like...My god, it fucking IS an Uwe Boll Film now that I think about it.

    0/10

    DIRECTION
    There isnt any direction, just some guy yelling at the actressess of camera to be mad with eachother and wear less clothing. And yelling at the prop guy for building such a goofy spider monster.

    0/10

    FUN FACTOR
    It's harmless and pretty easy to watch, but not much happens, its got a dumber than a bag of hammers monster, 2 brief fight sequences that dont match up at all on camera and are worse than old 'batman" tv series.

    4/10

    CHEESE!
    Oh so cheesy, not entirely the good kind though. So it actually manages 1 point of good cheese.

    1/10

    Overall
    11/90= 'F'

    Not a movie you shoudl watch unless you want something to laugh at. Even the MST3k version of this film is pretty hard to watch at times, just ...a film with no point...ugh.

    0 Not allowed! Not allowed!
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