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  1. #1
    Call me STRT or Street
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    strt's Batman V Superman Review SPOILERS!!

    Warning Spoilers...I am going to spoil the shit out of this movie so if you don’t want to have this movie spoiled for you, then move along.

    Batman V Superman: Dawn of Justice

    First of all, can we all agree that this is maybe the dumbest title for a movie in recent memory? I don’t know anyone that doesn't call this movie “Batman Vs Superman” when talking about it, though get ready...since this movie wasn’t very good people WILL be referring to it as Batman V Superman: Dawn of Justice with the same tone movie and comic nerds use when mentioning Fan4stick.

    This movie isn’t terrible. It’s also not great. This movie rests in the wasteland of mediocre films that are comprised of both good and bad parts. The pieces do not come together to makes it better, they stay separated and distracting. I think this movie is very conflicting, so I’ll split this review into separate parts and go over the good and bad. Hopefuly we can bring it all together by the end of the review.

    Plot:
    Ok I’m going to run through the “story” here. So, in the movie, some people like Superman, some people don’t because he helped destroy most of Metropolis (which in this world is as close to Gotham as New Jersey is to Manhattan.) Aside from the events of Man of Steel, in the beginning of the movie Supes is involved in stopping a terrorist from killing Lois Lane and some other people end up dead (I think only a seemingly random photographer being executed was shown). [NOTE: I later found out that this was Jimmy Olsen...so in the Snyderverse Jimmy Olsen was not introduced and killed off right away] Somehow Superman gets blamed and Lois finds a weird bullet. She spends the majority of the first half of the movie finding out that Lex Luthor developed the bullet...this leads nowhere and has zero impact on the rest of the plot.
    Luthor finds kryptonite in the Indian ocean and wants to bring it to the US as a possible countermeasure to Superman and any future Kryptonians. A senator that is holding hearing against Superman doesn't want to give luthor permission to bring the kryptonite into the country though he already has some in the form of a scalpel. After a series of misfortunes he puts explosives in a wheelchair and kills the senator and a ton of other people after threatening said senator with a literal jar of piss. Yes Lex Luthor uses a jar of piss to intimidate a US senator, then kills her and a room full of very important government type people with an exploding wheelchair.

    Batman hates superman because Supes’ battle with Zod lead to the death of many of his employees. Then after a series of bad dreams including a possible time traveling Flash with an ominous warning, Batman does a Rocky 4 training montage and develops Kryptonite weapons to fight the boy in dark dark blue. Superman does a whole lot of nothing though he does have a long talk with his ghost dad and threatens Batman.
    Batman and Superman fight for a couple minutes though the only reason it happens is Superman is blackmailed by Luthor (who off screen kidnapped his mom). Unlike almost every other fight between the two in comic history it is not based on their differing moral outlooks, because honestly both of them are just about the same in this universe, only superman can lift an oil tanker and Batman can’t. The fight itself is as over the top as a fight between them should be. Batman hits Superman with a sink and then swings him around like Mario throwing Bowser into a bomb at the end of Mario 64. Then Superman tells Batman that his mom’s name is Martha and is the same name as HIS MOM! Now they’re best friends and team up against Luthor to save Martha Kent. Batman then kills a bunch more people and saves her. Then Doomsday shows up because Luthor put Zod’s body into some goo along with his blood.

    Everyone fights Doomsday, Superman sacrifices himself twice and is dead at the end of the movie. What? I told you I was going to spoil this movie. So here is one spot where Snyder missed a golden opportunity. At the end of the movie we see Clark’s grave and Lois throws dirt on it. Don’t worry though, Snyder immediately relieves all the tension when he shows the dirt she just threw on the casket move like when Superman first flew in Man of Steel. The movie should have cut to black and played sad music right after she threw the dirt. Then if he wanted to, at the end of the credits it should have returned to the grave and showed the dirt slightly shift. It’s like Snyder couldn’t wait to admit he didn’t kill superman.

    The main issue I have with this plot is motivation. I understand Batman’s motives...he at least has a reason to fight superman (from his loss of friends and weird dreams). I have no idea behind Luthor’s motives. He hates Superman, because he’s Lex Luthor and we the viewer are supposed to just accept this. Superman doesn’t like Batman because he’s a hypocrite and doesn’t like that batman operates outside the law...despite the fact that he operates outside the law as well. Since we’re just scratching the surface so far, lets dig deeper into each character.

    Batman:
    Anyone who said Ben Affleck was a bad choice has to eat crow. Ben was great as both Bruce Wayne and as Batman. He’s a great actor and did a fantastic job. He has a serious and grim tone, this is a Batman that has seen some shit and Ben makes sure the audience knows it.

    Now that We’ve gotten Batfleck’s amazing performance behind us, let’s get to the elephant in the room. Batman kills people. Batman kills a lot of people. Cold blooded, he guns people down, blows them up, sets them on fire, and straight up stabs motherfuckers. There’s a random dream sequence that has him killing, but I’m not counting that...it was a dream, I bet batman dreams every night of snapping the Joker’s neck. No, I’m talking about in the movie he’s chasing Luthor’s men down with the batmobile and shooting them, blowing them up and crushing them. Now Batman wasn’t chasing them to save a hostage’s life, he wasn’t trying to defuse a bomb, or protect an orphanage that’s on fire. No he’s trying to steal the movie’s mcguffin from Luthor. To steal the kryptonite from Lex Luthor, Batman kills about a dozen men. Later in the movie he kills a bunch in the Batplane when going to rescue Superman’s mom as well. This shouldn’t surprise us afterall, this is the universe that had superman killing the very first opponent he faced.

    As any fan can tell you, this isn’t the first time Batman has killed, though I can only think of a couple runs in the comics that he has been this brutal...the almost universally loved Dark Knight Returns (this movie takes a lot of inspiration from) and the almost universally panned All Star Batman and Robin. Note: both of those stories are from the same universe and written by Frank Miller, they’re just separated by a few decades in terms of a timeline.

    Superman:
    I was never a huge fan of Man of Steel, though I thought Henry Cavill did a fine job with the script he was given. The movie was melancholy and dreary and he played it as such. In this movie he’s a plain white bread and mayonnaise sandwich. He’s the Bud-Light at a beer tasting, a Toyota Camry at a car show, the unflavored Jello at a dessert buffet. He is boring. There’s nothing great, nothing inspiring, just a mopey “Wahhh no one likes me” attitude. His is not any Superman I’ve ever known in comics, movies, or animation.

    So Supes has a random montage of him saving people around the world to show the audience that he does good things, and he bangs Lois in the bathtub to show that...uh...he likes women? Anyway, he wants to give up at multiple times in this movie only to have Lois urge him on and he actually quits being Superman for like 2 minutes so he can walk up a mountain and talk to ghost dad while ghost dad moves rocks from one pile to another. If this is what Snyder considers a character arc or character development then we’re in for some trouble with all the characters involved in Justice League.

    Wonder Woman:

    Though Diana Prince doesn’t have a lot to do in this movie, what she does do, she does well. For the most part Gal Gadot spends her screen time looking pretty and flirting with Bruce Wayne, once she dons her practically colorless outfit to fight Doomsday, the kick ass meter gets knocked up to 11. She is badass and based on her action scenes, I look forward to seeing her stand alone film. Wonder Woman is the most comic-accurate character in the whole movie. She enjoys the battlefield and relishes going against tough opponents.


    Lex Luthor:
    Ok let’s do this. I’m not one to say that every incarnation of every character has to be the same. Heath Ledger’s Joker was different from Mark Hammil’s Joker was different from Jack Nicholson’s Joker was different from Ceasar Romero’s Joker. All of them are unique, all of the behave differently and would act differently in a different situation. All of them are still worthy representations of the Joker in their respective universes.

    Eisenberg’s Luthor is a fucking mess. He’s rich and influential and hates Superman but every single other aspect of the character is devoid of what makes Luthor seem like Luthor. Eisenberg honestly behaves more like the Joker or Riddler would if they were super rich. He’s not this cold, calculating, charismatic businessman we would expect. In many versions of the comics/tv shows/animated movies Luthor runs for president and wins by a landslide thanks to his calm exterior and ability to play 10 steps ahead of everyone else. In BvS, he can’t even make a speech, I was slack jawed at the ineffectuality of his words to everyone around him. He rambles on every chance he gets with literary quotes that wouldn’t be out of place if they came from Batman’s villain, the Mad Hatter. (In fact he goes on an Alice in Wonderland streak at one point!) Eisenberg twitches, ticks, and mutters under his breath throughout the whole movie.

    Ugh I just want to punch him in the face
    The worst part of his performance is that Eisenberg takes up more screen time than almost any other character. He is one of the main parts of this movie. He steals every scene he is in by shitting all over it. I found him annoying at best. He would not have been nearly as annoying if he weren’t in so much of the movie.

    Lois Lane:
    So Lois Lane is a character that is normally presents a problem for people to write for. Aside from comics, she’s normally used simply as a plot device or as a damsel in distress. Man of Steel had her on a kryptonian ship...for some reason...to I guess make her more important to the plot, though it came off as forcing the character down our throats. They solved that problem in the first half of this movie, giving her the duty of solving the bullet issue, but then in the second half of the movie she’s a useless distraction that throws away the world saving mcguffin, then tries to get back the mcguffin, then is trapped and turned back into a damsel in distress for the mcguffin. All character progress lost.

    Supporting Cast:
    Laurence Fishburne is great as Perry White in this one. Unlike Man of Steel he has reasons to be in this movie and comes off as a great character.

    Jeremy Irons was a phenomenal Alfred. He captured the character perfectly and you really felt that he was a man that put up with Bruce Wayne’s war for 2 decades. While I have problems with the script, and it would have been nice to have Alfred scold bruce for murdering people, I give him a pass because Jeremy Irons did such a great job.

    So the acting is hit and miss, the story is a bit of a mess, but how does the movie itself hold up? Honestly, it’s another mixed bag. First the good: The cinematography is great. Some scenes are so perfectly presented that any random screenshot could be mounted and framed on a wall. This is where Zack Snyder shines.

    His signature slow motion and slight pauses in action scenes match well with comic book movies. However, the editing and transitions from scene to scene is absolutely fucking terrible. There are no establishing shots in the entire movie, the audience is pretty much just dumped from one scene to the next to watch two people talking to each other. The subpar editing and scene transitions really adds to the jarring feeling when watching this movie.

    The disjointed plot certainly doesn’t help but it’s all made more obvious to anyone that pays a little attention to the way a film is put together, and for people that like to sit back and just enjoy without analyzing it knocks them out of the experience. The movie has two very dieirrent feelings to it, the first half is very disjointed and has plot points that lead nowhere (like Lois’ bullet investigation). The second half is action packed but skims over so many things so quickly that it seems frantic. So the first half drags and doesn’t seem cohesive and the second half is rushed. I wish they cut stuff out of the first half of the film and expanded on the second half.

    BvS reeks of studio influence. Scenes like Wonderwoman opening her email to watch clips of future DC products featuring their logos was so jarring and embarrassing, you wonder why Snyder put it in his movie. Instead of a clever nod to future characters and events, it came off ham fisted and shoved down the audience’s throats. Instead of this messy jumble of plots and odd characters, this could have been 2 separate movies, hit the same plot points and been very cohesive successful pair of films.

    So there we have it, a sloppy movie that is neither a complete success nor a complete failure. It lies somewhere in between. Was it disappointing? As someone who love these characters and comic book movies in general, yes. Is the DC movie universe doomed? Absolutely not. I consider this movie a stumble but it landed on its feet. I’m really looking forward to Suicide Squad and I can’t wait for a standalone Batman movie with Affleck. All together this movie was a mixed bag.

    5.5/10

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  2. #2
    Rotting Zealot
    Go quickly, travel safely, my
    young friend, to the land of
    ghosts.
     
    CountOrlok's Avatar
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    Who gives a shit about Jimmy Olsen

    Nice review. A bit group-think, though.

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  3. #3
    Rotting Zealot
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    Ezri's Avatar
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    I will skip the movie and skip getting a Blue-ray. But, I will watch it sometime on TV right after the first movie comes to an end. The first movie will be The Fifth Element, then Batman V Superman and after that a Resident Evil movie.

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  4. #4
    Call me STRT or Street
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    god you say YES
     
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    Quote Originally Posted by CountOrlok View Post
    Who gives a shit about Jimmy Olsen
    Obviously not Zack Snyder It's even funnier than being killed off screen, he was killed and no one knew it was him unless you read the credits.
    Nice review. A bit group-think, though.
    Thanks, but I don't get the group think part. I spent a good long time thinking about this movie and discussing it with a fellow comic nerd and this review is kind of the result of all that thinking and discussions.

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    Last edited by strtfghtr; 04-04-2016 at 04:38 PM.

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  5. #5
    Zombiefied Zealot
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    Great review. I haven't seen the film and have been conflicted about going to see it. This review has convinced me to hold off and possibly rent the bluray instead of going to the theater to see it.
    Spoiler...
    Anyone that knows that Doomsday is in the movie pretty much knows that Superman dies in this film unless they drew it out to another movie....which from reading comments I knew they didn't, but still doesn't spoil it for me. DC killed Superman off, but only temporarily; it took several new comics and about 6 months to bring Superman back to the comics.....the new comics died out and Superman was back. So Snyder won't be killing off Superman any time soon. If memory serves Doomsday was his own entity that Luthor stumbled across and had nothing to do withZod or his little group.


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    Like, so many people out there were trying to track this down. And it just...got delivered on a tweet. What the hell.

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  6. #6
    Call me STRT or Street
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    UPDATE FOR THE ULTIMATE EDITION!!

    Ultimate Edition:

    Almost immediately after the theatrical release of Batman V Superman Dawn of Justice, the studio and Zack Snyder responded to the negative reviews the film got with claims that there is an extra 30 minutes missing from the theatrical release. I don’t think a single reviewer was begging for more of this movie since it clocks in at 2 hours and 30 mins. No one was looking for a 3 hour mediocre superhero movie that is rated R. Seriously, Snyder made an R rated Superman movie. So anyway, for better or worse here I am watching and reviewing this extended version of one of the biggest disappointments in the last 15 years of film. Is it better? Is it worse? Is it actually good? This is really the second time watching the film so this will be a nice refresher and I can pick up on any ideas I’ve missed.

    I don’t intend to go through scene by scene comparisons but some of the obvious additions are easily discussable.

    Early in the film, they introduce “photographer” Jimmy Olsen who ends up getting gunned down. I have no idea why they removed this from the theater, it explains that Lois just met him and had no idea that Olsen was in the CIA. This works and we get a little sense of who Olsen was in this universe. Overall: Better to keep it in.

    A few additional scenes were added of Clark investigating the Batman in Gotham including a ferry-ride indicating how close the two cities were (before the confrontation where we see the batsignal from the Daily Planet roof). I love Clark’s investigation and interviewing some of the folks in the slums of Gotham, though you seriously couldn’t write that football article in like 10 second Kent? Come one buddy I know you have super typing and stuff...bang that turd out in like 2 seconds then go on investigating the Bat. (I’m joking, maybe because this dower movie could use a moment of levity in it...but all the extra Kent stuff is nice.) I say keep it in.


    The additional explanation of Batman being “angrier” and hunting is certainly a positive because it means that somewhere in this ultra-violent Batman, there was a time when he didn’t go around killing people and he was merely driven to this stage at some point. This is a MUST for this Batman. This movie sets up Batman for the first time in this universe and we are never told that he was anyway except what we see in the movie. This is something that needed to be in the theatrical cut IMO.

    The media cameos go from being interesting to intrusive. I know Snyder wants to take scenes from the comic, The Dark Knight Returns, but he shouldn’t take from The Dark Knight Strikes Again (DKR2) comic that was half media interview panels. These did not bother me at all in the original cut, but they just seem overbearing in the Ultimate cut. Less is certainly more in this case and there are better ways to provide exposition then to have round after round of different real life media faces tell them to me.

    I think I may have briefly mentioned this before but the transition from shakey cam to still cam is jarring and annoying in the same scenes. This leads to shots feeling disjointed from each other and breaks the flow of individual scenes up. You can absolutely use one or the other, and in a situation where there’s explosions or frantic action they are totally appropriate. However, when you have a guy standing on a ferry waiting for a ride and it shows shakey cam, then switches to a steady shot to show him head on waiting, it’s totally distracting. This same thing happens multiple times throughout the movie.

    I had mentioned before my distaste for Eisenberg’s Lex Luthor, but after seeing it a second time in the extended cut, I fucking hate it even more. He is the absolutely worst part of the movie. The bad plot, the confusing cuts, sloppy world building, and useless scenes are nothing compared to the horribleness that is Lex Luthor in this. You fucked this up big time Zack Snyder.

    This is really nitpicking but I think could have played well, “Jack” dying in the beginning (I think that was his name, whoever Bruce’s business buddy that dies in Metropolis was) would have been much more impactful if it was Luscious Fox. The general audience is well aware of who Luscious is as a character from the Nolan trilogy. If we saw Batman lose Mr. Fox right at the beginning the stakes would have been raised and we wouldn’t lack any character building for Bruce Wayne. Though this is just wishful thinking, since the Batman/Bruce character is really the only one with well discerned motivations and character traits, in reality the change is unnecessary.

    So is the Ultimate edition better? Well, in terms of the movie making more sense, yes it is better in that respect. However, the 2 and a half hour theatrical cut felt too long, the 3 hour Ultimate cut drags on and on like you wouldn’t believe. So it’s really another mixed bag. Did you like the theatrical version? If so you’ll probably like more of it in the Ultimate Cut. If you hated the theatrical, you’ll hate the extended even more.

    I still think there’s a decent movie somewhere in this mess. I’d like to see a fan cut this movie that keeps much of the character building, removes the pointless scenes (like Lois’s bullet hunt and as much as possible of Eisenberg.), maybe brighten the colors, rearrange or eliminate the dream sequences and WB quicktime trailers, and cut down the ending.

    I will say, watching the extended version made me realize I was a little too nice to the theatrical the first time. If I had to write the review again I’d knock the number rating down a notch. But, I hate when people backpedal so it stays.

    Batman V Superman: Dawn of Justice - 5.5/10
    Batman V Superman: Dawn of Justice: Ultimate Cut - 5.6/10

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    Last edited by strtfghtr; 09-29-2016 at 03:21 PM.

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  7. #7
    Yup
    Nuthin' To Say
     
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    Last edited by Macready; 08-03-2016 at 05:57 AM.
    The tranquility of night hides many malevolent things taking place under a stunning, mysterious sky pocked with precious gems of light. -GP

    Published writer in Fantastic Horror, Volumes 1,2, and 5. Currently working on my first two novels!

  8. #8
    Call me STRT or Street
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    I'm absolutely fascinated with this movie I want to do like a "how to make this movie better" with it.

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