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  1. #1
    Call me STRT or Street
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    Review: Return to Sleep Away Camp (2008)

    So this movie picks up where the greatness of Sleepaway Camp left off. That is to say, the original and its sequels made money so the creator of the original decided it was time to fully cash in on the lucky “vane” of gold he struck in the 80s and do a proper sequel to his “masterpiece”.

    Where the original works off of classic 80s charm and mild child abuse in a hilarious “Bad News Bears” demeanor, this movie is just fucking flagrant in its over the top child damaging antics. Though the comedic 80s routine is replaced with a repulsive animal abusive, demeaning presence no happy-go-lucky character or attitude is placed in it's empty presence. Long gone are the care free days of the 80s, and I don’t know if the film-makers know, but in the 2010s it’s not proper to torture animals and expect a sympathetic tone. While the audience is supposed to associate this with the antagonists, we are lead to believe that the entire world are the antagonists in this picture the one lone “sane” individual is the weird kid in school that we the audiencewere only friends with because we felt bad for them.

    The film focuses on the character of Alan, who represents that awkward kid we all knew in high school that we felt bad for and included him in our group of friends to try to make feel better. This film instead chooses to torment this character at every occasion and treat him as the most likely candidate for “shooting up a school” or as this movie portrays, “slaughtering jerk campers”. I can feel myself using fake quote marker at every instance in this movie, but I feel it’s necessary as this film does not represent real people or even real representations of people, but instead it represents dramatic exploitations of human stereotypes that don’t really exist in the real world. This would be considered normal in the slasher sub-genre, but never have you experienced more pitiful representations of the normal characters. Where this film fails is not in the realm of the imaginary, but in the realm of reality where these falsehoods do not exist.

    Classic scenes like the water killing the chef are turned into mere homages with sub-par replacements that include terrible CGI and worthless characters. The pathetic CGI “hose in the mouth” kill is a prime example of this garbage being propagated onto the poor unsuspecting horror public. I wish I could mention others, but there’s barely any killing in this pathetic example of a horror film. Instead of clever camera shots concealing the killer, a hooded figure is placed in the center of the screen in a pathetic attempt at anonymity. Also, I just wanted to say that the 30 minute “dick pulling” scene was way over length and not tension filled at all. Though reading back on that sentence it sounds intriguing, I can promise you it’s not.

    The original characters are presented in this as a pure distraction for the die-hard fans such as myself like “Ronnie” and “Richie”. While Ronnie reprises his role as a concerned councillor, the rest of the references are constant grabs to times past that garnered both scares and laughs.

    In the end, what bothers me the most is that writer Robert Hiltzik made all of the Sleepaway Camp films including the campy 80s sequels. Though apparently those proved to be not as profitable as he had hoped and he decided to throw together this shit storm and classify it as a film. The other two sequels at least had charm and a spirit of their own while diversifying from the original. This piece of trash is just schlock and deserves no place amongst the originals for anything other than being just a modern day cash in and a poor representation of the genre. Honestly stick to the three originals and have a good time with them...this one is a waste of time.

    2/10


    Spoiler...
    Spoiler:
    As a final note the after-credits scene (while it has some funny practical effects) is especially annoying since it replays the entire credit scroll..a big no-no in the world of not getting film patrons to hate you.


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  2. #2
    UHM Emissary
    The world spreads it's legs
    for another fucking star..
     
    deadcellsociety's Avatar
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    Wise words.. I shall NOT watch this.

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    WHEN A MAN MEETS A FORCE HE CANNOT DESTROY, HE DESTROYS HIMSELF INSTEAD.

  3. #3
    UHM Emissary
    Long live the new flesh
     
    Primetimeloser's Avatar
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    Apparently I am one of the few that liked this one. Well at least better than teenage wasteland

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    * First time watch
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  4. #4
    The Russian Dictator
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    The bed of nails was pretty funny I thought.

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  5. #5
    UHM's Arrogant Metal Head
    If anything is possible, is it
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    Been meaning to check this one out. The first one had one of the creepier endings I have seen in a film. I liked the second one though too.

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  6. #6
    The Architect
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    "Your ass stinks!"

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  7. #7
    The Rottweiler
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    Gamertag Hawk Wesker PSN ID KryptixHawk
    Loved the first Sleep Away Camp. This one wasn't nearly as good but for some reason I enjoyed it lol.

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    Si usted no puede correr con los perros grandes permanecer en el porche!




    Number of Horror Movies Seen- 1,896

  8. #8
    Demon to Some
    Imagine peace on this earth
    when there's no grief Imagine
    grief on this earth when
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    Darkgod's Avatar
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    They were missing a famous persons relative like the other two sequals had.... btw great review Strt

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  9. #9
    Rotting Zealot
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    Faust's Avatar
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    Robert Hiltzik didn't direct the 2nd and third ones. Michael A. Simpson directed the 2nd and third while they were written by Fritz Gordon.

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  10. #10
    Call me STRT or Street
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    strtfghtr's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Faust View Post
    Robert Hiltzik didn't direct the 2nd and third ones. Michael A. Simpson directed the 2nd and third while they were written by Fritz Gordon.
    Yeah I was pretty drunk when I wrote this and thought he wrote them. Movie still sucks ass

    Stick with the first 3.

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  11. #11
    Rotting Zealot
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    Faust's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by strtfghtr View Post
    Yeah I was pretty drunk when I wrote this and thought he wrote them. Movie still sucks ass

    Stick with the first 3.
    I still haven't watched Return to Sleepaway Camp but I didn't even like 2 or 3. The first one is pretty bad but it has a certain sleazy charm to it

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  12. #12
    Rotting Zealot
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    El Ahrairah's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Faust View Post
    I still haven't watched Return to Sleepaway Camp but I didn't even like 2 or 3. The first one is pretty bad but it has a certain sleazy charm to it
    The only good value of the Sleepaway Camp series was being 12 and seeing tits.

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  13. #13
    Rotting Zealot
    Go quickly, travel safely, my
    young friend, to the land of
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    CountOrlok's Avatar
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    I've only seen 1 & 2. I tried watching the others but they bored me.

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