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Godzilla: King of the Monsters sucked ass.
You know why? Because there was not enough human drama, I didn't pay to watch these big stupid monsters destroy cities and eat people for 20 minutes in a 2 hour and 11 minute movie, why do they need to have these Godzilla movies be about the monsters? I want more humans, goddamn it! Seriously!
All joking aside I still think Godzilla: King of the Monsters is a disappointing movie, even more crushing that it was Michael Dougherty who directed and co-wrote the movie and he usually knows how to balance good monster action with good human drama like in Krampus and Trick 'r Treat.
Sorry friends, sorry Godzilla fans, but Guillermo Del Toro did this WAY better with Pacific Rim, great balance of human drama with giant robots fighting giant monsters and actually using its running time wisely with great visual story-telling that keeps you engaged without feeling like there's too much stupid filler.
Unfortunately Godzilla: King of the Monsters while slightly better than the 2014 Godzilla movie, it still suffers the same problems as that movie where it has more focus on the human drama and the monsters are just in the backdrop of their own movie
This movie does not think you're smart enough to figure things out as they unfold and put into motion, just blabbering about stuff then showing you exactly what they said they were going to do rather than just show things unfold more gradually, I even got some terrible "Rampage" vibes from here but it's at least a little more fun than Rampage was. (if that's an old Godzilla trope sorry it still sucks).
Luckily the dialogue is just silly enough and the actors are just good enough at selling it to where the human characters are not boring so that's an improvement from the first movie already, Ken Watanabe is super fun to watch as always enjoying his humane speeches about wanting to befriend the titan beasts while wanting to preserve the safety of humanity even though that doesn't really go anywhere but he was still compelling.
The rest of the characters are just okay, they're cartoony cut-and-paste characters played straight with some realistic human conflict but then they just become stupid meaningless plot threads that don't really matter.
Vera Farmiga's character uses a device to communicate with the monsters with the right frequency that she's been developing that can wake them up from their slumber with the help of Charles Dance who's a stupidly-hammy eco-terrorist wanting to wipe away what humanity has done to the planet while being separated from her husband played by Kyle Chandler who are both still reeling from the Godzilla destruction from 5 years ago that took their son and he wants to destroy all the monsters.
The movie has some interesting text about the beauty and wonders of humans and monsters living in harmony and how it can be a promising future and Farmiga's motives while seemingly insane helps shine a light on the monsters being a force of nature against what man has done to the planet they live on which was missing from the first movie, but these discussions are interesting and told to us and some beautiful visuals help back some of those theories up but none of it really matters because we're suppose to take the monsters destruction seriously.
By far the most annoying character in the movie for me was Millie Bobby Brown as the daughter of Chandler and Farmiga who is constantly at odds with her constantly fighting parents driving her to take matters into her own hands to save the world but her character acts so whiny and annoying and acting smug despite nearly being killed while getting caught in the way of Godzilla and King Ghidora's third fight in San Francisco.
Which to me was the DUMBEST scene I've ever seen in a movie that wants me to take it seriously, you're telling me this bitch can survive Ghidora's lightning breath devastating a building she's just running out of with tons of falling debris and just barely dodging Ghidora's lightning breath and NEVER fucking dies from that? BULL SHIT.
But the human drama is fine.
Yet again, the monsters are only briefly shown in parts and their screen time all of it is really cut short until the last 15 minutes of the movie with little scenes of monsters sprinkled throughout the movie which was acceptable but then the human scenes keep dragging it all down and making it a boring experience and by that time you're not really engaged with the rest of the movie.
The visuals when they're not being blocked by human characters like a total fucking tease are AMAZING, they're fantastic and you feel the size and weight and incredible action, what little there is, every monster that gets introduced mostly Rodan, Mothra, King Ghidora and Godzilla are all done with great gusto with love for these monsters and bring a grand presence to the film but again there's not enough of them.
They even have moments that make great callbacks to the old Godzilla movies which keeps their canon intact and in a good way to please Godzilla fans.
The rest of the NEW monsters they introduce don't really matter either, yeah there's other monsters but they don't really get a montage of their abilities and most of them look absolutely TERRIBLE in design which was also disappointing and once again the big monster mash I thought I was going to get never really happens at all and there's no excuse for it.
Why is it so hard to make a monster mash of a movie like this? Is it too expensive? Is it too ambitious? Is it too much? Is it too ridiculous? Is it because if the monsters got more screen time then realistically humanity would be utterly fucked?
What's wrong with making one hour of the movie devoted to humans and the second hour all about the monsters? Or mesh those together in a good way where you get EQUAL screen time that can be satisfying for the story and the audience mostly monster fans (because let's face it, monster movies are never really popular and most people don't give a shit about them so cry me a river Godzilla fans).
But no, gotta keep all that monster stuff in the backdrop ala Michael Bay's Transformers and only in the last part of the movie do you get to see any fun monster fights which are fun and thrilling but by then, just like the 2014 movie, it's too little and too late.
Again, I know there are some bushy-tailed little scamps out there prepared to tell me that these are tropes that the older Godzilla movies had so why complain about it? BECAUSE EVEN THE OLD GODZILLA MOVIES HAD A GOOD AMOUNT OF TIME SHOWING OFF THE MONSTER ACTION IN SYNC WITH THE HUMAN SCENES LIKE TOHO'S RECENT "SHIN GODZILLA".
Please stop telling me "Well the old Godzilla movies didn't have a lot of monster battles" so what? Obviously Toho knows that it can't pull that shit anymore because budgets are bigger and you have tools to make grand imaginations become real and they should be more crazy, more silly, more explosive, I want to watch giant monsters fight, hell take the human characters out of it.
Yeah, I'm serious, I would love watching a movie where it's nothing but monsters fighting while sharing their own characteristics that can make them sympathetic and understanding in a primal-yet-evolving sense it can be done!
But yet again, Godzilla: King of the Monsters is just a step above Godzilla 2014 but it still pales in comparison to Shin Godzilla that just has more going for it, this is a movie that should've been a fun monster brawl which you get about a half-measure and it's inexcusable and it just makes everything feel less fun and feels cynical and acts like a tease the whole way without any grand pay-off.
I'm sorry but this movie is just okay to me, take it or leave it.
I think I'm done with giant monster movies, there's just nothing fun or interesting to do with them. Anyone who isn't a fan of monster movies can stay away from this one, those who love Godzilla will probably love this for having references to the older Godzilla movies with the Godzilla theme playing if you enjoy lots of exposition with only about 20 minutes worth of monster action in a 2 hour and 11 minute movie then this is the movie for you that's just a hair away from being a sequel to Rampage.
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SPOILER ALERT
Spoiler...Godzilla and Kong are going to fight while Charles Dance somehow revives King Ghidorah for Godzilla and Kong to team up and fight him again. Thanks, now i don't have to watch that movie, also Adam "Y'Know" Wingard hasn't been a very promising director recently.
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