Coyotes (2025)


REVIEWER RATING: 
8/10

DIRECTOR:

CAST:


We all know that when it comes to casting Justin Long in horror movies, his characters tend to have a short shelf life (or irreparable deformity): Jeepers Creepers, Barbarian, Tusk, House of Darkness and more. Needless to say, I was looking forward to seeing what fate has bestowed upon his role as Scott the writer, husband and father who lives with his family in a lovely home amongst the Hollywood Hills elite. Unfortunately, the karma gods are against his persistence to survive this 90-minute escapade against a large pack of blood thirsty coyotes, but…let’s see what happens!

Opening to a spruced up “barbie” doll walking her teacup doggie in the darkened evening outside her lavish home (I thought I was watching Elle strolling with Bruiser from the next edition of Legally Blonde), the eeriness of the night thwarts her narcissism hastily when her beloved pup Gigi runs into a shrub and screeches in blood curdling pain. Yeah, I’m loving this already and we’re only 5 minutes in. Bring on the coyotes!  

While working from home, Scott meets with kooky pest exterminator Devon to help rid their house and property of a “rat problem”. Even with the repulsion of knowing these critters are scurrying around in their walls, Scott still hopes to find another solution aside from annihilation. Why hurt the rodents if you don’t have to, correct? Ok, he’s an animal lover! Bring on the coyotes!  

During the set-up scenes of an impending windstorm heading their way and the “dial-a-whore” who rings the wrong doorbell, the imminent power outages jolt the needle forward as the coyotes who were seen roaming around earlier are now lining up to make their ultimate attack upon the hilltop homes. These animals are fierce, deadly and pretty fucking smart! Ever see a feral coyote open a door? How about climbing up a flight of stairs gingerly in the hopes of pouncing without warning?  

Pets are mauled, people are savagely mutilated and the insatiable appetite from these super-strength creatures amplifies as Scott, wife Liv (Kate Bosworth) and daughter Chloe (Mila Harris) scramble to survive. It’s a simplistic storyline chock full of excitement and satirical humor splashed into several silly scenes, but the overall effects (CGI or AI, I don’t care…these rabid animals look sick AF!) are incredible to watch. Without much complication or over complexities of plot, the most undetermined question remains: What is making them so crazy? This is just not normal coyote behavior.

OVERALL: 
Coyotes is like watching a pack of Cujos with advanced intelligence, roam ravenously from one residency to the next with a goal of obliterating the entire neighborhood before dawn. Each attack becomes bloodier, and each superhero moment becomes more comical sharp one-liners like “Get the fuck off my husband!” and “You killed my favorite client!” I actually caught myself chanting “They’re heeeeere” several times which only helped drown out the sound of screams saturating the area. Coyotes is a fun frolic of frenzied madness, and you only have to remember one thing before watching…did you place your bet on Justin Long’s mortality?


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