Desert Fiends (2024)


REVIEWER RATING: 
6/10

DIRECTOR:

CAST:


Check out this incredible cast: Michael Pare, Scout Taylor-Compton, Robert LaSardo, Tom Arnold, William McNamara, Spencer Breslin, Eric Roberts, Lorelei Linklater, Nicole Butler, Lisa Wilcox, Bai Ling, Eileen Dietz, Bill Connor, Zachary Vasquez and of course…Shawn C. Phillips. With a group like this, there’s little room for acceptable error, however…when introducing additional team members, it’s easy to get swept away with various storylines and miss the plot completely.

Desert Fiends immediately begins on a hilarious high, with two bumbling truckers, Romero and Kenny who launch a sidesplitting banter of dangling balls and stepping in shit before taking a leak on the side of an isolated road. Romero (a hysterical performance from LaSardo) complements the dim-witted Kenny (notably funny Derek K. Long) in a campy introduction to this “The Hills Have Eyes” satire with flare and comedic timing which continues throughout the following 30-45 minutes.  Its non-stop hokey humor centered on bathroom comedy and off the hook genital references will flood you with laughter.  

From the flaky Dawn (a well-crafted and clueless Linklater) to her boyfriend, Scott (a finely tuned Breslin comparable to Jack Black), the sexual innuendos and awkwardness of additional characters only add to the quirkiness set up for a good slasher flick. Luckily, we don’t have to wait long for the first arrival of an extremely motley crew of creatures to inflict grisly horror upon these millennials who (unfortunately) grow in numbers as the film suddenly drags on.  

Once the set-up of the young adults is planned (a music festival in the desert), we are introduced to more and more odd attendees, vendors and musicians who damaged my own brain while trying to keep up with everyone. Annoying? A bit, yes. Necessary? Absolutely not.

While the lack of attacks by the inbred gang becomes disappointing, the mutant monsters don’t pick up speed until well into the festivities – and then havoc and chaos take over through a massive massacre. There are notable performances by Arnold, Butler, Pare and (one of my personal favorites), McNamara. However, Ling’s bizarreness is so distracting and wild; it was tough not to imagine her as a female Dieter Laser in his unwatchable zaniness from The Human Centipede 3 who screamed his way through the entire movie. Bai Ling’s incessant and incoherent acting made ME want to kill her. Or at least direct the cretins to her RV sooner than later.

The gore is gruesome. The laughs are wicked fun. And the drugs (and cookies) are in abundance. Not a horrible way to settle in for a decent horror comedy that will keep you giggling throughout the weird escapades and leave you with a cliffhanger to build excitement for Desert Fiends 2.

Ok, I’m in.

OVERALL: 
Desert Fiends in simple terms…is just off its rocker. I say that in the most affectionate way. Although there are far more tangents taken than needed, the on-going dick jokes even lends itself into the history of the ogres who enjoy hunting humans for food and meal storage. It would have been fitting to even call this flick “King Missile” due to the countless detachable penises we get to encounter as watchers of mischievous antics. Note: feel free to skip the 5-minute closing credits’ testimonials. A bit of a time suckage and more importantly….introduces ADDITIONAL new characters. Oye, my brain.


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