Chop Chop (2020)


REVIEWER RATING: 
2/10

DIRECTOR:

CAST:


There’s not much of a synopsis for Chop Chop and it’s quite obvious why that is. There’s not much TOO Chop Chop! It’s a serious case of “What did I just watch??”

Let’s try and recap what this is about…

A beautiful young couple are having dinner, making love and basically having quiet alone-time in their apartment. When a shady looking pizza delivery man shows up at the front door, it becomes an enticing beginning to a crazy night of murder, mayhem and all around chaos. You’d think, right?

That is immediately squashed when the delivery guy is taken down and the audience is not only left in silence, but ZERO reaction from the would-be victims. What did I just watch?

Thus becomes the almost telepathically communicated conversations between Liv and Chuck (are those their names? They barely spoke, let alone said each other’s names so the jury is still out on that one.) After almost being hacked with a cleaver in her kitchen, Liv is alarmingly calm as they decide what to do with this fresh dead body on the floor. Not only are they void of emotion, but they don’t seem concerned who the shady character is and why he suddenly appeared on their doorstep.

From this point on, the constant stillness is not only confusing, it’s downright irritating. Have they done this before? Who wants them dead? Why? Who the hell are they??

Liv and Chuck are sent to pick up a package where more irrelevant nonsense ensues, followed by the package delivery to what then becomes the climax of the film – a homicidal maniac who takes the couple hostage in order to torture them into confession (don’t ask as there’s no clear answer) before turning them over to another would-be killer.

Without even a morsel of sentiment, plot, dialogue or any sense whatsoever, Chop Chop is just plain crap crap. It was as if I just watched live zombies in slow motion for 81 min. There is nothing relatable to this movie as the characters never develop (hell, they barely speak!) The endless pauses within every conversation are excruciatingly brutal – more torturous than a drill bit in the leg. And although I know there was a twist at the very end, it was beyond baffling to identify what that actually was.

OVERALL: 
Chop Chop sounded fun, light-hearted and even intriguing…from the trailer, that is. What occurred in 81 min was painful fuckery to the 10th degree. I still can’t make any sense of what just happened – who are the bad guys? What are they after? What are they hiding? And do I really give a shit? The only redeeming quality to Chop Chop is Jake Taylor’s glowing blue eyes. But since that’s not part of the “plot”, they might as well have been plucked out during a snoozer scene which still wouldn’t have saved this crapfest.


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