Clownado (2019)


REVIEWER RATING: 
1/10

DIRECTOR:

CAST:


Where to begin…
Oh, right. Clownado. It’s HORRIBLE. Film names are not always a premonition of how good/bad the actual movie will be (Clowntergeist for instance was fun!) but in this instance, the title should have shouted “DO NOT WATCH!”

Big Ronnie is a clown and traveling circus owner with a foul-mouthed wife (Savanna) who is planning to rip him off and run away with her boyfriend, Cash. But Savanna is not the evil one. Ronnie has an evil streak and murderous intention that leads him and his clown flunkies to be cursed through a spell that sweeps them into various parts of town via tornadoes.

Yes, it’s that stupid.
Savanna manages to break free from Ronnie’s torturous clutches, she teams up with a hillbilly, a stripper, a black Elvis impersonator and a teen who escapes from stranger danger. No need to get involved in their histories as everyone in Clownado is not only expendable…they are happily disposable…by the viewer!

Through continuous gore and heartless antics, the murders are beyond bloody. Normally, this is never a fault for the pure horror fan, however by the 5th victim being ripped open with guts being yanked out, it becomes nonsensical and overkill. Yes, pun intended.

As the characters begin to enter the paranormal realm of obliterating the tornado, the plot gets worse.  Simply because the presence of new characters along the way have nothing to add and only complicate an already weird situation.

The overacting, strange nudity and incessant horse-neighing laugh from Ronnie is enough to drive anyone to jump head first into the next passing tornado.

Clownado is exactly as it sounds…bizarrely bad.

OVERALL: 
Never judge a book by its cover. Unless the cover says Clownado. It’s a hodgepodge of misfits who collectively try to stop a running tornado of vicious clowns who delight in pulling intestines out of everyone in their path. Sound fun? I think not.


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