Cocaine Bear (2023)


REVIEWER RATING: 
8/10

DIRECTOR:

CAST:


In September 1985, convicted drug smuggler Andrew Thorton plunged to his death in Tennessee when his chute failed to land him safely. The cause of the parachute malfunction was due to the $15M worth of cocaine bricks strapped to his body. Yeah, that would do it. Prior to jumping out of the airplane (fearing being captured by the Feds), Thorton tosses out several stashes from the 850 lbs. of drugs that he was trying to deliver.

Months after his body was found on a driveway in Knoxville, a 175-pound black bear was found dead in the forest with several grams of cocaine in his blood stream. The actual amount of ingested drugs that the bear consumed over that time period is unknown. And that is the true story behind this farce from actress/director, Elizabeth Banks’ Cocaine Bear.  

“If it’s black, fight back. If it’s brown, stay down” – words to live by when confronted by a wild bear while hiking in a national park. However, what if the bear is higher than a kite?  

Banks brings an ultimate horror comedy to the big screen with a ferocious CGI bear in the starring role. And you know what? It works. By bringing it up to Hollywood standards through several side stories of locals who are trying to find their children, teenage hoodlums out to rob visitors, a lovesick ranger (portrayed fabulously by Margo Martindale) and of course, the drug smuggling team of father, son and friend/thug who desperately need to find the lost cocaine, we have the makings of either a well-rounded slapstick romp or a complete box office flop.  

My money is on the surprise hit that no one expected. Simply put, Cocaine Bear is fucking hilarious in all its stupidity. The blood-soaked attack with plenty of dismemberments is gruesome and entertaining as hell. And even with the small add-ins such as the detective and his unwanted shih-tzu or the breakdowns of young widower, Eddie (another great performance by Ehrenreich), the film is paced perfectly. Consistent jump scares, vicious maulings, and plenty of tasteless humor certainly round out this chaotic day in Chattahoochee National Park.

Cocaine Bear isn’t likely to win any Academy Awards, but that was never the point of bringing this crazy true story to the surface with intentional absurdity tacked on.

OVERALL: 
Properly set in Blood Mountain, the carnage and chaos pierces you immediately with a comic performance from Matthew Rhys (Thornton) as we see the whereabouts of the drugs that will drive a huge black bear to the brink of insanity. Add in lovebird hikers who encounter the cocaine fueled bear soon afterwards, and I knew I was in for a real treat! “That bear is fucked!” Correct, young Henry and well said. In between tree climbs towards safety, locating the drug stash and the incredible nostalgia of 80’s pop music, appears the essential villain Syd White (one of the last roles from the extraordinary Ray Liotta.) Combined with the unmitigated enjoyment of this movie, what more could you ask for? Oh, that ambulance scene…the epitome of horrendous hilarity. Yeah, this blood-thirsty bear certainly does not discriminate! Go bear! (That’s right…I rooted for the bear).


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