Rosewood Lane (2011)

March 19, 2012 - 8:23pm | FrighT MasteR
  Tags: Ashton Moio, Bill Fagerbakke, evil kids, kids, killer, killer kids, Lauren Vélez, Lesley-Anne Down, Lin Shaye, Paperboy, Phillip B. Goldfine, Rance Howard, Ray Wise, Rose McGowan, Rosewood Lane, sociopath, thriller, Victor Salva

Your rating: None Average: 4.7 (3 votes)
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Victor Salva
Rose McGowan, Ray Wise, Lin Shaye, Lauren Vélez, Lesley-Anne Down, Bill Fagerbakke, Rance Howard, Ashton Moio

After 8 years, director Victor Salva (Jeepers Creepers) returns to the genre with Rosewood Lane, a "suburban nightmare" about a sociopathic young paperboy that somehow has the entire neighborhood in fear due to his nefarious ways. A heavily-botoxed Rose McGowan plays "Sonny Blake," a popular radio therapist  who returns to her childhood home after her abusive father passes away. It's not long before the dubious paperboy comes knocking at the door attempting to sell her a subscription.

She naturally declines, but that doesn't stop him from harassing her; sneaking into her home; calling her radio show, and just playing all sorts of mind games with the poor girl. With the police and her friends all thinking she's crazy to believe an "innocent" young paperboy can do such things, it's up to young Sonny to fend against the boy, as he grows more violent.

I enjoyed Victor's previous work within the genre (Clownhouse and Jeepers Creepers) and expected his return to be something AT LEAST half-way decent. Unfortunately, Rosewood Lane was nothing of the sort, in fact, it was pretty bad. The entire movie seemed like something straight outta the Lifetime Movie Network. Not only was it not scary, but there was no language, nudity, and even surprisingly featured very little violence for a horror flick (assuming it still is one at this point). To make matters worse, although the actor that played the paperboy was somewhat convincing, he just didn't fit the part, because he looked more like a college student than a young innocent paperboy.

And, as expected with films of this theme, we have everyone thinking the lead is crazy, which not only frustrates the character, but us as viewers. That's especially the case when it seems as though a lot of these characters make many illogical choices. Much of the paperboy's antics were more like pranks for the most part, but did become more deadly over time. Regardless, a lot of what he did early on could've easily been taken care of by the police had everyone not been complete idiots. Having the whole neighborhood fear the kid still remained unrealistic to me, even after more was revealed about the boy. You'd think they'd put forth more of an effort to get the authorities involved.

On a positive note, despite the film's many issues, it kept my interest for the most part. I also thought the ending was a bit of a clever surprise. It's just too bad the rest of the script wasn't as creative.

Rosewood Lane is better suited as a Lifetime Movie Network premiere, as it features no nudity, language, gore, and even displays little violence until towards the end. Topped with plot-holes and annoying logical issues, the film's only redeeming value is its somewhat clever ending, but by that point it's far too late to make up for the rest of the silly events we witnessed in the flick. If you ever come across this one, do yourself a favor and skip it.

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FrighT MasteR's picture
FrighT MasteR is an avid horror fan / monster hunter extraordinaire, who created and has been running UHM since its inception, way back in 1999.




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